The question was submitted
Tuesday, 19 January 2010
Subject: sexual assault
How do you try and get over a sexual assault that shouldnt have happened in the first place? The perpetrators were two of my partners work colleagues, considering there is only five in the workplace it is pretty tight nit. How do i learn to trust people whom i should of been able to count on?
Im torn between doing what is right for them- one is married with kids and the other is in a relationship with a long time family friend. Im stuck between telling the truth and not saying anything which is more than either of them deserve as well as looking out for my partners interests because he has to work with them
every day.
Every time i go near the workplace my heart starts racing, feeling sick as well as justifying it to myself as "just a bit of fun"-thats how i sleep at night and i remember what happened. I try and disconnect my feelings and what happened so it doesnt hurt as much. Every day is a constant reminder of what happened-i wish it wasnt so complicated.
My best quality of being nice and selfless, i know is also my worst. I like to see the best in everybody.
Hope you can help.
Answer from DepNet
Thank you for writing to us.
What a terrible experience for you – no wonder that you continue to experience the consequences of such assaults!
The most important thing for you to do is to ensure that you get professional help in dealing with the assaults and with their consequences. The questions you ask are very good ones, but it won’t be easy or quick for you to work out the correct answers. And unfortunately no one can just tell you (especially over the internet) what the best way is for you to manage such a complex situation.
What you need is a counsellor with experience in sexual assault, who can support you personally, advise you on legal matters, and can guide you over time. Without knowing where you live, I cannot direct you to the specific services, but all States and Territories have them, and if you look at the following pages and their links, you will find one. If you call a national service like Lifeline, they can also direct you.
Lifeline 131114 (anywhere in Australia)
NSW Sexual Assault Services links:
http://www.lawlink.nsw.gov.au/lawlink/victimsservices/sexualassault.nsf/pages/sexual_assault_contactus
NSW Rape Crisis Centre
http://www.nswrapecrisis.com.au/
Victorian Sexual Assault Services information:
http://www.thewomens.org.au/SexualAssaultCrisisLine
You don’t say whether or not your partner is aware of the assaults. Relationships Australia can provide expert relationship counselling to help you there, if that is necessary.
http://www.relationships.com.au/
Every State has a similar set of services and many have highly skilled telephone operators who can direct you to an appropriate service close to you.
The other person to involve, if you haven’t done so already, is your local doctor. You local doctor will almost certainly know what sexual assault services are available locally and can direct you to the most appropriate one. Your local doctor can advise you on whether or not you need any testing for sexually transmitted illnesses, which you could. Your local doctor can also recommend a psychiatrist or psychologist, if you need more specialised help at any stage.
The longer you delay getting help after an assault, the harder it can be to deal with. So I would encourage you to follow up on some of these ideas and get further support, advice and guidance on the best way to manage the terrible consequences of an awful experience.
I wish you all the best.
The answer was published on DepNet
Wednesday, 27 January 2010