why does life have its lowest points in my head? I am urrently seeing my doctor and taking 40mg of Lovan, i am crying myself to sleep at night, i can't sleep properly, i am always anxious, things are really shit at the moment. I just got out of a 1 and a half yr relationship, which has been my longest relationship. I still love and care for him, but i also think i am very attracted top this friend of mine, yes we have had some fun but i thought it would still have all the things it did before we had fun together. I don't know if i like this person or if its just rebound effects, but i know this person is very attractive to me because i have thought this for a while now. Life just seems to be getting suckier by the second. We will call this person dee, and my now ex- jay. Well i used to text dee all the time but now he doesn't even text back and dee is sort of friends with jay like they hang out with this one particular person; k, but k is ment to be best buds with j and dee is always going to sports and drinks and other eventful places with k & J but i dont know why this is all just happening now. why couldn't it have happened ages agol and then i would havew gotten over him as i knew he was out of bounds, but see he doesn't text me back sometimes, i just thought there was a friendship there. Like i don't have many friends and thats all because i spent all my time with jay, it sucks. i miss my best friends S & S; one lives 2 hours away and the other lives two hours away in the other direction. i have no one to go to anymore, i feel all alone, my parents are not helping as they will just say i'm being stupid and silly, they don't understand what its like. i feel all alone and i just want to keep digging my grave and finally bury me in it. this world is just too much for me at the moment. i have tried taking up a hobbie such as reading and drawing and sketching, but another one i like to do is write poems but lately they haven't been coming to me like they usually would. On Wed i went out to dinner with a few friends from work, i dropped my car off at one of my other friends' house so i could drink, i probably drank about 4 or 5 cocktails in about an hour and a half. i was tipsy and i enjoyed it, so now all i want to do is get drunk, i know its not the solution as i have been through some stuff a 18 yo shouldn't ever have to go through. I know i need to see a psychologist but i really can't afford to see one. i was an outpatient to this youth clinic about 2 years ago and they let me go as i was just stuffing around. i have come a long way to where i am today but i just feel i just want to throw it all away.
Please anybody do you know how to fix this problem with dee?? or any of my suicidal thoughts or problems i need help and all i can do is cry....
Thank you so much for your inquiry. Please accept my apologies for the delayed response. It is clear that you have been through a lot and have had to deal with a lot in your life. It appears that things are very up and down, and that at times you really feel like it isn’t worth going on. But it also seems that you have a lot of energy and interest in the world, even if things get mixed up and messy at times. It sounds as if it would be really helpful to have someone with whom you can talk through some of the things you talk about in your letter: the relationships with your friends, your use of alcohol at times to blot things out, your low mood and feelings at times that life isn’t worth it, feeling lonely – and all the other complex feelings and events in your world. You say you can’t afford a psychologist, but there are still a number of options: • See your GP (the doctor prescribing the Lovan) and discuss what the best way forwards would be. • There are now less expensive ways of seeing a psychologist, due to new Medicare access pathways. Your doctor will be able to help you with this. • You could go back to the Youth Clinic and ask to become involved again. If you explain that you don’t want to ‘stuff around’ anymore and are keen to get stuck into some productive psychological work, they might be willing to have you back again. If they say you are too old at 18, I am sure they will still be able to advise you on the best way to get help. • Ask at the local Community Mental Health Centre and see what services they have available or what they would suggest. • A number of Non-Government Organisations have counselling services available. Your GP, the Youth Clinic or the Community Team would know what is available in your area (it is very variable city to city, and even suburb to suburb). • If you are unsure how best to access services – ask your local doctor. The person prescribing you the Lovan will be a very good place to start. Local doctors are usually pretty savvy about the local services available. Thank you again for writing to us. The fact that you are reaching out for help, support and advice says to me that you still have the energy and motivation to make changes in your life. Be sure to continue to look for the help you need, and I am sure you will find the answers to the questions you ask. Good luck.