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We are all allowed to be happy!

A page in the diary "A danish teens life. "
Written by Shethinksit Saturday, 4 July 2009 07:39

Summer hollidays started a week ago.
A heatwave is passing Europe, nothing we danes are used to. At all.
I'm pink as a shrimp.
And keep sweating like a pig.
But I like the sun. It smiles for me.
Or so I'd like to think.
It's weird how the weather changes. In March, just five months ago it's snowed wildly and we couldn't get out of the house.

Tomorrow we leave for "vacation" on the island we moved away from less then a year ago.
I don't know if I really want to go, because it's all memories, I tend to get very sick when I get there.
Meeting everyone who always hated me, and desided they will always.
If their eyes could kill. I would have been dead more then a million times.

And I know that the love of my life is there. He's returned from Australia, probably a couple of months back. I don't know.
But I am not sure if I am ready to face him, just yet.
He's still in progress. Even after 4 years. But now I'm being helped. I havn't been able to talk to anyone about it, till I started going to my new psychologist. I've had four previous to the one I have now.
She's good. She's better than anyone I've had. Maybe it's because she usually deals with actual adults and not teens. I have a different perspective on life she says. Like someone who's been alive for 40 years and not 17. She's trying to make me realise that I can act like everyone else my age. And that I don't have to play the mother at home.
But I still need to do a lot of homework before I'm well again.
I can't wait.
Last time I went to see her, she told me to tell myself that I am allowed to be happy, and to enjoy my life.
I don't know why that never accured to me before. But I actually am. she didn't tell me why I was allowed to. But maybe I don't even need to know why.
I just know that I'm allowed to be happy. And I'm great just the way I am. I'm allowed to be happy. Nobody can stop me from being happy.

She.

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Comments from the community :

Hello over there!

Yay for your holidays (though you have mixed feelings) and the love of your life coming over. Don't know what the back story is on the two of you but he should be thrilled to see you, and you should esp as you love him so. Agree that everything seems much better with the sun. I'm sure the people on the island don't hate you, you seem a lovely perceptive girl (your diary entries on the dance of socialising and the smiling stranger on the bus were delightful and insightful) and if it gets to be too much on the holiday maybe keep away from them?

Good to hear that your psychologist is helpful. Wow, you must be one mature girl to have her say that, that's very high compliment to say you act much older than you are. (My pdoc says I act like I'm 3) But yes, you have to take things easy and maybe ease up on the responsibility? You are only young once so take a break and let the adults handle the adult things. You must be a strong girl to put up with all that. She, you have great advice and perception and am glad you are gradually discovering yourself. You are allowed to be happy, thanks for the reminder! You made this deppie happier already.

Written by  ness, Saturday, 4 July 2009 20:33