A black hole

When you are very depressed, you may feel that you will never recover. Your thoughts become overwhelmingly negative and pessimistic.

Sadness permeates your whole life and you struggle to find pleasure in anything, even in relationships with the people you love. You may criticise yourself and question your own abilities. Self loathing and self doubt replace confidence and self assurance.

Sleep Difficulties
It is very common to experience sleep difficulties when you are depressed. You may have difficulty falling asleep or you may find that you wake up in the early hours of the morning and struggle to return to sleep. You lie in bed worrying about your life and negative thoughts flood your mind.

You may find you are:
 • very tired
 • lacking in energy and unable to cope with basic tasks in your everyday life
 • be unable to concentrate or focus on a task
 • struggling with your memory

Perhaps you have lost your appetite, you may even feel that food doesn't taste like it used to. Sometime people lose their appetite completely and as a result they may lose a significant amount of weight.

Read more about the symptoms of depression here

Not your fault
Perhaps you are starting to wonder whether it is your fault that you are depressed Its important to understand that it is NOT your fault that you are suffering from depression. No-one is to blame.

You may start to think that your family would be better off without you and that it would be better if you weren’t alive. Many people who are depressed contemplate self harm, including suicide. If you have thoughts like this it is vital that you contact your doctor or the local emergency department as soon as possible.

Tell people about it
Depression is common. You may feel isolated and alone but you are not. It is important that you tell those closest to you that you are suffering from depression. It will help them to understand your behaviour and enable them to support and help you.

Apart from your spouse, you should also consider telling your older children that you are suffering from depression. Children are often left bewildered and confused about the changing behaviour of their parent who is depressed.
Sometimes it is useful to explain what is going on so that they can be reassured that they are not at fault and that you are unwell at the moment but are seeking help.
We suggest you to tell them that you are not the "old you" at the moment. They should know that you still love them but that you may not behave in the way they are used to. Family counselling is sometimes useful to allow family members to express concerns and frustrations as well as to learn more about depression.

Talk to you doctor if you think this may be appropriate for your family.

In addition there are local organisations which can help support you and your family. See the help list for some of these e.g. ARAFMI (Association of Relatives and Friends of the Mentally Ill)