My story

everyday...breath in dont wanna breath out

Written by bluerose

im writing this because i need to know someone out there understands gets what i feel how my mind sees things theres this line from a song"maybe lifes not meant for everyone?"im definately in that category i feel so lonely so empty hollow i feel if i fell to the ground is just break into a woof of dust like when the hero stakes the vampire in the movies my mother died when i was 3 she was ill and never should of had me cos it made her health deteriorate so she died and i was left alone i hate her for not bringing me with her how could she love me if she left me with this hole of emptiness a family who despised and abused me a joke a waste of space im 26 and everyday since i can remember i wish i was dead i think how id do it yesterday i tried to hang myself with an electrical cord but it broke and all i was left with is big scar ive given up on doctors so dont say speak to someone they dont listen to what ur really saying i didnt realise ur not meant to want to die im 26 im an ain and i put on a mask every day wishing it would end people think im so happy such a nice person they dont know me or the pain im in its so much pain i can barely breathe im surrounded by death i just wish it was mine