My story

It has been 15 months

Written by Deleted_User

It has been over fifteen moths since I wrote my first story on here. A lot has happened the story is now froma deleted user and that is ok because that part of my life is slowly but surely being left behind at long last.

I left Depnet late last year for very good reasons and I am now a much stronger person for having made the cut.

I have rejoined Depnet because I feel I can actually contribute t the community in a way that is giving back to a community that has given me so much and helped me to get through some of my worst times.

I have suffered from depression in some form or another since I was very young probably started to be depressed at about the age of 8 or that would now be the time I can remeber me showing signs of being depressed and not coping.

Unfortunately I inherited a characteristic from my mother that allowed me to mask what was going on in my life from everyone and for some reason or another I managed to find ways of coping or avoiding dealing with the probelms I was having until I finnally had a complete and absolute nervous breakdown in August 2006. I had lost the will to live the will to participate in family or comunity life I progressive ly withdrew from everything and everyone even my lovely wife and the family I had around me.

i was eventually convinced to go and see a local counsellor and I did this and she assess me and set me home after telling me that it would be a long road back and it was going to be difficult. i had kno idea exactly how difficult it was going to be.

One week later I found myself back there and she suggested that maybe it might be a good idea to go onto medication. Initiall I resiste and 2 days later I was back and the GP that operates out of the same rooms and infact is my GP wrote out a script for some antidepressants which I am still on to this day.

I continued to struggle for about 8 weeks and eventually could not cop anymore and I had become suisidal. It was at that point that I was admitted to the local hospital for the first of two admissions that basically meant that I spent the best part of the 2 months leading up to Christmas 2006 in hospital. hidding from a life I no longer wanted to have anything to do with.

I eventually got discharged and have not bee back in hospital apart froma couple of visits late at night due to hypos late at night. I forgot to mention I am also I dabeteic and must make the comment now that diabetes and depression as you will read elsewhere on this side go hand in had qhite often.

Since that time I have had many very high highs and just as many low lows.

Some of the highs have been that I have for the last two years taken part in 'Opera In The Alps" at Beechworth as a member of the choir.

I have also recently taken up the challenge of learning the Banjo as therapy. I have also been a soloist in a local performance of Requiem compsed by Faure and performed as it was written as a sung masss in the local Anglican church.

What I would like to finish this story with is the fact that while ther is life there is hope.

Bassman