Mail box replies

The question was submitted 09/04/2008

Subject: how can I start a new life?

Hello,
I have migrated to australia in November 2006. I came over here to live with my boyfriend and to study. All of my family is in germany. Latley i have been quiet sad and frustrated with myself. I am not able to make new friends and spend days without leaving the house, staying in my pyamas, when my bf is away. I was not unsuccesful with my studies, but i do feel that everything is too much and iam scared that my inability to react will cost me everything. I just came to realize that I am worth nothing and that is why I have no social contacts. I have been struggeling with my mood since I was about 16. I was for a while on medication when I was 19, but felt that they made me into something that i was not and thats why I didnt take them anymore. I was okay for awhile, but at the moment everything is getting out of hands. I have huge problems with my bf; which is hard because he is my only real contact overhere. He does not get angry when I dont clean the kitchen for days or do not wash his clothes, but i feel guilty all the time.
I have a family history of severe depressions on my fathers side. My aunti and my great uncle. I just want to be a happy person and get along in life. I dont want to end up like them.

Answer from DepNet

Hello and thank you for taking the time to write to us regarding your concerns, relating to your family history of depression, relocation to a new country and limited social contact.  It is possible that each of these things is contributing to your current experience of low mood, lack of energy and feeling isolated and alone.  It is also encouraging that you want to feel better and enjoy all the positive things in life.

An important first step in recovery would be to connect with a local general medical practitioner and to discuss the issues that are important to you.  You may even like to take a copy of your email to us and your response, as a point from which to start the conversation.  A trained doctor can help to determine if there is a physical component to the way you are feeling and/or to identify emotional and psychological factors that may be impacting on you.  He or she may also suggest counseling, connect you with a support network, prescribe medication (if this is appropriate) and give you some literature or DVD’s that provide some insight into the way you are feeling.

In the meantime, some helpful strategies to implement might include getting up at the same time each day and having a daily routine includes a sensible diet, gentle exercise, doing some simple household chores, and doing something that you enjoy each day: for example, spending time in nature, walking in a park, shopping, seeing a movie, or doing something creative (like writing or painting).  Your partner may also be able to help with encouragement and listening to your concerns. 

Please do contact a medical practitioner soon. This will help you move forward.  All the best.

The answer was published on DepNet 30/04/2008