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The question was submitted 28/02/2008

Subject: im so exausted i cant deal with life

im trying hard to do the exercises the therapist set me. he asked me to do a daily planner but there is nothing to put on it. im tired of this world . im tired of no one believing me. i cant even get a hair cut because im worried that i cant trust the hair dresser.i find it excrusiating to talk to people. im really trying to walk to diet to stop gambling and to change my thinking. it is so hard when everyone just thinks you want attention. its not fair . everyone thinks im a bad person because i cant deal with life. if no one believes me where can i get help ?

i think everyone thinks im a bad person bacause i cant deal with life.its not fair everyone els4 gets help. i cant deal with it. i want to die. im not getting any where. you cant get help is your therapist thinks your lying.its not fair. life is not fair. i worked hard at my job . i cared about the children . why should i be crucified and hung out to dry because i am not well.i thought i was loosing the plot .i coulnt do anything right i was so stressed crying all the time. they knew it and did nothing. i felt like i coulnt take time off work in fact they said no one could take holidays. ive taken sick leave annual leave now im forced to take leave without pay or admit im not a suitable person to work with children. iam when im well . i wont be labelled with that.ill never get another job all because i cant contol my moods. i didnt do it deliberately i didnt want to hurt anyone. im not a bad person.why do i have to suffer?

my burn out and depression came at atime when i thought i was going to be fired .i am worried that everyone thinks i faked my symptoms the truth is i have felt not right for a long time . i cant seem to force myself to get better. people seem to believe my behaviour was attention seeking but it was not deliberate. i feel like my therapist is going to dump me the minute my job finishes my doctot too . i desparately need help from someone. it not fair that just because of the timing of my break down im not going to get help. my doctor said if i tried to hurt myself again she wouldnt see me.i didnt try to kill myself for attention i genuinely wanted to die because i couldnt cope any more. i feel cut off isolated from the world . please help me. i dont have genuine help from anyone. is there anywhere else i could get some help

i have been under extreme stress and i feel that my family my friends my boss and my workmates think i faked depresssion symptoms to get out of work. i truly feel depressed and had all the symptoms . i have trouble sieeping appetite changes a feeling of dread hopelessneess extremely tired,and i have had constant suicidal thoughts everyone is angry saying i planned this i did not i just simply coulnt cope anymore with life with anything but i did not do anything concsouisly or deliberately i truly feel i am suffering from a form of depression there is definitly something wrong with me i cant cope with the normal things in life. like interacting with people,concentratlng on tasks ,my short term memory is woeful, when i get stressed out i freak out and have crying fits because i cant cope but these are not deliberate.is this stress or depression?

Answer from DepNet

Thank you for writing to us. You are clearly very distressed and feeling quite desperate for help and understanding at the moment. It sounds as if you have a great deal on your plate and that the people around you aren’t as kind and as supportive as you need right now.

Although you have asked many questions in your letter, I am going to focus on one thing only. The reason for that is that more may just be overwhelming, rather than useful. I think you need to take it gradually, one step at a time, and not try to solve all these issues at the one time, especially when you are feeling so low and so distressed.

The most important job you need to do at present is to try to clarify and improve the working relationships you have with your treating doctor and your therapist. If you are feeling that they might ‘dump’ you, it is very difficult to feel like you can trust and work with them effectively. And you do need to be able to, in order to get better.

I suggest you discuss it with each of them at your next appointment. Explain how you feel and that you would like to work with them to improve the relationship and to improve your depression. Explain that you know that you need your ‘team’ to work as well as possible together if you are going to be able to beat the depression. Ask each of them what you need to do to make it work, and tell each of them what you need them to do.

This is not an easy job, but if you handle it carefully, it might be the most important thing you do at this stage towards recovering from your depression. Think carefully about what you want to say and maybe plan it on paper first, that way it will come out clearly and without any accusations.

Good luck. I wish you all the best.

The answer was published on DepNet 29/02/2008