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The question was submitted 09/01/2008

Subject: Does 18 mean out of parental control?

I have an 18yr old daughter who has been seeing a pyschologist periodically. Until 18 I had a modicom of control on insisting on appointments etc. I have spoken with her therpist who suggests my daughter has borderline personality disorder. Having researched this I am sure that diagnosis to be correct. Self harm, countless body piercings,lack of focus/balance, uncontrolled rage,hatred for me, disruption to the point of me kicking her out of home. I am DEVASTATED and do not know how to get her to seek help. She has agreed to mediation. Where do I go? Do we see a pyschologist? Is there a situation where we can both be heard & a treatment plan that we both have access to?

Answer from DepNet

Hello and welcome to DepNet,
The situation you describe is indeed very difficult. Mediation may be very helpful in negotiating some of the issues you face with your daughter, such as being able to put your point of view, hear hers, support her in obtaining treatment and being aware of what that involves and how you can help. I would recommend a psychologist or psychiatrist with qualifications and experience in child and family therapy. Your GP may be able to help with a referral and the beyondblue website (www.beyondblue.org ) also has advice on finding a psychologist. Other websites that may be helpful for general advice include http://www.michaelcarr-gregg.com.au/ and http://www.reachout.com.au .

The answer was published on DepNet 30/01/2008