The question was submitted
14/10/2007
Subject: depression and suicide
I have sufferedx from depression for many years and up until rcently have started to relapse. Mostly this is due to my sisters recent suicide and i am finding it difficult to cope. I understand this may be aprt of a greiving process and seperation anxiety or something to that affect. I am trying to get back into a regular routine which includes work and uni study. I have been given some compassionate leave from uni but had to go back early so i would'nt fall behind to badly. I am finding it hard to cocnentrate on my essays and maintain a normal attitude to work. My sister had a long history of self harm and attempted suicides as had i for many years ( i am no longer at risk of suicide or self harm) but i know i am depressed. My GP has offered to refer me to professional counselling but i cant see the point as i tried counselling before and all i did was sit in the 0ffice of either a psychiatrist who would just write out a prescription and not help me any other way or when i saw a psychologist, or mental health worker all i got was victimised and generally felt humiliated by the mental health service ( felt alsolike i was being patronised as well often) with no one wanting to really listen. I blame the culture of mental health in Victoria largely because the CAT teams dont and wontdo anything after hours regardless and now my sister is dead. I do not live invictoria but have experienced the same situation where i live. Mostly i feel like crap and empty and useless, the church where i have been going have been generally useless the pastor didnt even bother to give his condolences and was more interested in his overseas trips and going down to melbourne for a week( what a joke). It seems either way i am screwed, i have lost three members of my family over the last few years i cant see much point of trying to live but i know i have to keep going but like i said its really hard i have a lot of guilt and asnger at both my sister and myself and a lot of other people (probably part of the greiving process)
So what are my options??? are there any?? I have little confidence in counselling and i dont think anti depressants wil help as they didnt in the past, i had todo it all on my own in the end.
Answer from DepNet
Thank you for writing to us. There are three main points I would like to make.
1. Options
There are always options and always more strategies that you can find to create a way to move forwards. There is no single answer that suits every person: each person’s story is unique, so each person’s depression will be different and each person’s path to feeling strong and optimistic will be different. The challenge for each individual is to find the combination of supports, strategies and skills that will suit their needs and help them find a way forwards.
2. Working with others
Skilled professionals can be of great assistance, but often it takes persistence, assertiveness and looking around to find the right people for you. The most effective treatment has a good match between the clinician and the patient – no one clinician suits everyone, and sometimes a person needs to try a few clinicians to find one with whom they feel comfortable to work effectively.
So I would encourage you to discuss with your local doctor finding a clinician to work with. You may find it helpful to have a small ‘team’ working together, with each person providing different expertise and support. Some people, for example, find it helpful to work with a local doctor + a psychiatrist + a therapist (who may be a psychologist or grief counselor). A good local doctor will assist and guide this process and can be really invaluable.
3. Doing it on your own
There are also many strategies that do not require working with a professional. You can certainly do them in connection with professional help, but you can also do them on your own. There are a number of Australian self-help books on depression that can provide useful strategies. One such book is ‘Beating the Blues’, by Sue Tanner and Jillian Ball, but there are many others.
As well as finding guidance in books, there are many practical strategies that can help you develop skills for living and build resilience against depression. The most straight-forward is becoming more involved with activities that give you pleasure. Ideally such activities would develop a skill, involve a network of others, have some mature people involved to give some guidance, and develop your sense of belonging to a social community.
If you like to sing, perhaps you could join a choir or become involved in a local musical. If you like to dance/paint/sculpt, perhaps you could start classes. If you enjoy exercise or sport, perhaps you could join a local team. If you are interested in nature, perhaps you could get involved with a conservation group. These activities may be based at your school, the local community centre, run by your local Council etc. While this may sound simple, it can also be a powerful and effective strategy, especially for longstanding depression.
Such an activity will serve many functions. It will build your self-esteem and self-confidence, and help you see yourself as a competent, talented, interesting person who has much to offer. You can develop a new network of friends, who may be different from those you already know. You can widen your horizons, and be active and gain a sense of achievement. You will have a level of mental and physical stimulation that you may be lacking if have been depressed and not doing much for a long time. Such activities will lift also directly your mood.
If it sounds daunting, give yourself the challenge of trying it for a month and see how you feel. You will almost certainly find that it is enjoyable and that your mood, energy, motivation, pleasure and optimism all increase.
Good luck – we wish you all the very best in this.
The answer was published on DepNet
19/10/2007