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Empty Ache

A page in the diary "The Words Behind My Tears"
Written by kcdbooks 25. May 2005 08:53 PM

Why is it that I can do all of the right things and still get into trouble?

Why is it that no matter how hard I try, I am still in trouble?

Why can't everyone just leave me alone?

I am tired of being picked on, tired of being the butt of everyone else's joke, tired of having to hear it from everyone else.

A necklace was taken off me by a teacher today, yet no where in the rules does it say that they can take it away - sure, I wasn't supposed to be wearing it, but they can't take it away. The necklace had true sentimental value, and I'm not sure that the teacher respects that. It makes me so mad. I didn't even realize that it was on, I simply hadn't taken it off after last night. I try to be such a good person, but nothing ever turns out right. I think it important for a school to recognize the talents that we each individual has, instead of trying to turn us into people who all look and act the same. I don't think a school should treat individuals this way - it is wrong.

I am working as hard as I can to keep my head above water, but I seem to be drowning in that dark blue sea. No one seems to understand the effort that it takes to go from day to day. No one seems to understand that I am always tired and I still can't fall asleep. No one seems to understand that I am so hurt by all of this, and I am doing the best that I can.

Why can't someone just appreciate me for who I am, instead of always picking the bad bits and hammering them into my head? Why can't I ever do the right thing? Why can't I just switch off and ignore this?

Deppies, life can be so unfair...there is a tear shed for each of you who has been treated unfairly.

kcdbooks

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Comments from the community:

Dearest KC,

I extend my arms open to you with MUCH APPRICATION,RESPECT,UNDERSTANDING,SUPPORT,LOVE
and LIGHT.

I'm so sorry your MUCHED LOVED necklace was taken from you. I Aagree totally with your valid views on the school system.

Stay true to your self,never change your WONDERFUL SELF for anybody.

Schools should celebrate and encourage individuality.

Take good care of your of your self KC.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOOXXOXOXOOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Written by Anonymous, 25. May 2005 09:44 PM

“Into every life, some rain must fall.”
—Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, 1842


I suppose that it is this rain in our life that fosters the growth of ourselves.

Without the rain there would be nothing to judge the good times against. It is when that rain is a tornado that it becomes a little difficult to pull ourselves back together.

Thanks Shelley, I hope you are well.

Take care,
kcdbooks

Written by kcdbooks, 25. May 2005 10:13 PM

I agree whole heartedly with what you are saying about school, after all we are all individuals.. wouldnt life be boring if we were all the same?
You cant switch off because you care, and at times you probably wish you didnt care, but please dont ever loose that caring side..
Life for most of us on here, doesnt seem fair most of the time, but if your like me, when you communicate with others in here, it helps a heck of a lot, and seems to help to see things in a different light, tho sometimes only for a short time.
I would like to think the teacher will give the necklace back of their own accord in day or 2..
take care
Warmest regards
les

Written by les, 25. May 2005 10:19 PM

Hey les,

Thanks for your comment - it made me smile!

Apparently I'll get my necklace back in four weeks. I'm not sure that the actions of the teacher are reinforcing "good" and healthy feelings about school. I think it is about time that the teachers start to think about the emotions of the students, and stop their own egocentrical behaviour.

Yeah, les, I wish I could switch off - this all hurts so much - I feel like I am drowning. Although it does help to bash it out on a keyboard.

take care,
kcdbooks

Written by kcdbooks, 25. May 2005 10:27 PM