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(((((((((((((((kcdbooks)))))))))))))))

Dear kc,I understand how u must be feeling so much pain & anguish, how the tears keep on coming until u have none left and u have exhausted yourself.....

I understand how painful it is to go to sleep with all that unresolved emotional pain and broken heart and to cry yourself to sleep...

kcd...can I ask if u are still on meds & if so, do u need to see your doc & possibly increase your dosage?

It's just that as u may remember I reduced my meds just b4 Xmas, & got through the season and was ok up until 3 weeks ago. I was becoming extremely emotional, lethargic, & everything started becoming too much for me. I was not seeing solutions to small problems very clearly either,(which means bigger problems would not have solutions either)& that bothered me. I also did not like the thoughts I was having & the things I was saying...fortunately, a few ppl took me seriously enough to perservere in suggesting I speak to my councellor again & to also increase my meds, as the dose I was on really was too low to be increasing my seratonin levels.

Well after only 2 days I was amazed at how good I felt and how much more clear headed I was...now a week later I understand that my body really is not ready to come off the meds or to have a lower dosage as I require a higher dose for my meds to actually work for me & do some good so as I can function properly & be clear thinking from day to day...very important as my judgement was becoming clouded! Obviously it took approx. 8 weeks for the effects of this lower dose to really 'kick in'.

I'm only suggesting that this may be another option for u kcd as I am really concerned about u at the moment & would like to see u make an appoint. with your doc. to at least 'rule out' this possibility.

Sending my love and support to you...

Please take care
Blu
xxx

Written by Anonymous, 7. Feb 2005 08:51 AM

Hey there Blue,

Thank you for your comment - it is always a pleasure to read them.

Surprisingly, I have never been diagnosed with depression. I was stumbling along, and I read something about depression and I thought hey! this is a possibility. That is when I came upon this site.

Because of the secrets and such in my family, I cannot tell them that I think that I have depression etc. So, here I am stumbling along, hoping that things will get better.

It makes me feel really good when someone like you takes the time to care, so thank you.

I am so glad that the meds are working for you - it is so nice to hear that things are working and that you are feeling better!

Take care and thank you,
kcdbooks

Written by kcdbooks, 8. Feb 2005 08:01 AM

Hi there kcd...wow, no wonder it is difficult 4 u! You really need 2 b diagnosed 1st by the doc & then u can start your meds immediately...

An understanding doctor & counellor will certainly not b alarmed at 'your family secrets' but will show u ways in which they can help u cope a little easier under the circumstances. Medication is not the b all & end all...it really needs to be used in conjunction with councelling 2 b of a greater benefit 2 u.

You can not do this alone as u have tried & it is not working. There is far 2 much for u 2 take on at your age & without the appropiate help at hand.

I understand how difficult it is taking the first step for an appointment, keeping the appointment, & actually discuss with your doc. that u think u r suffering from depression.

Kcd...what also concerns me & speaking from experience here as well...if u do not get a proper diagnosis & adequate care & treatment for this hideous depressive illness...it will continue 2 affect all areas of your young life & rob u of the simple joys & pleasures you have a right to experience & discover. Left undiagnosed it will continue on throughout your 20's, your 30's, your 40's & so on...not a pleasant thought hey?

Sending my love & support
Blu
xxx

Written by Anonymous, 8. Feb 2005 10:41 AM

Hey Blu,

Thanks again.

The problem is that it is impossible to tell my parents that I think I have depression. I am sure that they will make some excuse for me, like "your stressed out from school" or "you got this idea from someone else".

Furthurmore, mom has depression so it is a "loaded issue" in my family. Bsically, I can't talk about it with them.

Also, I have been seeing a counsellor once a week for three yeears, and she hasn't picked up on it, so there is still the question, "Am I depressed?", even though, logically, I know that something is wrong.

Anyways, thanks for taking the time to listen.

Take care,
kcdbooks

Written by kcdbooks, 9. Feb 2005 06:57 PM

Dear KC oxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

I send you my LoVe and support.oxoxoxoxoxox

I wish for you the opportunity to create safe healthy boundaries that allow your heart protection and comfort...

I also wish for you the ability to have a lovely home of your own founded in peace and comfort and serenity.

I wish for you to surrounded by LoVing, harmonious people who see you and appreciate you and understand and LoVe you dearly.

I wish all these things for you.

And lastly... I wish for you to be enveloped in radiant white light...... protecting and guiding you..... encircling you with LoVe..

I want this for you very much oxoxoxoxo

LoVe from Image oxoxoxoxoxo

Written by image, 10. Feb 2005 02:25 PM

Ps.. KC.. counsellors are not able to diagnose or give out medications. Their training is limited and they are only a tool to talk. Please see a medical practictioner. I have been on meds for three months now. I start my new job on monday. Medication helps.

Please tell doctor how u feel.

Written by image, 10. Feb 2005 02:28 PM

Hey there Image,

Thanks. The problem at my house is not being able to tell my parents that I need to see a doctor. *See above*

I am so glad that the meds are helping you. Congratulations on your job! I am so proud that you can do such things!

Take care,
kcdbooks

Written by kcdbooks, 10. Feb 2005 08:33 PM

Hi
Thx so much for ur comment...made me feel gooooood...will pray for you..
take care

Written by solitaryreaper, 11. Feb 2005 05:06 AM

Hey there,

No problem - I love getting comments too!

Take care,
kcdbooks

Written by kcdbooks, 11. Feb 2005 06:55 AM

Thankyou KC oxoxoxoxoxo

I hope you get an opportunity to express yourself to your parents and to be recieved with compassion.

It is safe to speak up for self.

It is good to ask for help.

You are not alone... Even though you may be feeling that way.

You are always supported here from all us Deppies anyways. I hope you can feel the support and comfort my friend. oxoxoxox

Love from Image

Written by image, 11. Feb 2005 02:26 PM

"The cave of sorrow have mines of diamonds"

"The soul would have no rainbows if the eyes had no tears"

Two sayings that help me when I am crying... I hope you find comfort oxoxoxoxox

Written by image, 11. Feb 2005 02:28 PM

Dear Image,

The sayings are very beautiful and very meaningful, thank you.

Take care,
kcdbooks

Written by kcdbooks, 11. Feb 2005 06:25 PM

((((((((((((((((((KC))))))))))))))))))))

Written by image, 14. Feb 2005 12:46 AM

Dearest KC,

"You have been offered some WONDERFUL advise","we are so lucky arn't we KC?","we have AMAZING people here with us including your WONDERFUL and AMAZING SELF". :)

"I wish you all the VERY BEST KC".

"Please see your GP","THE BEGINING of my RECOVERY started there","once i took the first step".

MUCH STRENGTH,SUPPORT,UNDERSTANDING & LoVe.

xoxoxxxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxooxoxooxoxooxoxoxoo

Written by Anonymous, 16. Feb 2005 04:48 PM