What I want you to know
A page in the diary "The Words Behind My Tears"
Written by kcdbooks 30. Jan 2005 07:52 PM
I want you to know that I am hurting, that the secrets you hide create scars that time can't take away.
You have created your own scars, scars that will affect us for the rest of our lives.
I want you to know that you have been selfish, that you behaviour has ruined my life.
I want you to know that it is your fault that I have cried myself to sleep for the past four years.
I want you to know that you are the worst mother ever, and that even then I can't imagine whhat life will be like when you are gone.
I want you to know that your own ignorant behaviour has caused your disease, and that it is your fault, but I still feel responsible.
I want you to know that your years of drinking have turned me into a basket case.
I want you to know that I will never be able to forgive you.
I want you to know that your actions hurt me harder than a hand ever could.
I'm feeling so awful, and I'm crying as I write this. There is this huge lump at the back of my throat, knowing that there is so little time left with you, but I almost can't wait.
I want you to know that you have made my life a living hell, and that I fall asleep thinking of you actions, and I wake up having to face them another day.
I want you to know how much I am hurting, but you make it so hard for me to tell you.
I don't know what to do anymore.
Please, take this away, make this better. I can't do this anymore. The fighting has to stop sometime, and I can't stand to lose you again. The fear and the dissapointment.
Please, do something, I can't keep doing this.