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Just Plain Sick of This

A page in the diary "The Words Behind My Tears"
Written by kcdbooks 25. Nov 2004 10:11 PM

Hey there,

As I was sailing today, a boy yelled at me, "Just because you're fat doesn't mean you have to have a bad attitude".

Ya know, I have given just about all I can give to this sailing program, I am always there, always in a positive mood, and just because someone else is in a bad mood shouldn't mean that I have to put up with what he says.

Having said that, his words really hurt. To all of you Deppies, please use your words carefully. Whether you are a boy or a girl, Asian or Australian, 16 or 56, words hurt a lot. I am not going to forget these words anytime soon, and I am also not going to enjoy chocolate for a long time. I hope that you guys choose your words very carefully.

This makes me sad and I feel even worse than I have been. I miss those times where I could be happy for no reason. I miss the times where I could laugh and play and not have to worry. I miss the days when I didn't have to worry about what to say, or who to say it to. Ya know what, I'm sick of this.

Take care and stay healthy,
kcdbooks

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Comments from the community:

hi,
i think i know what those words feel like. my partner constantly calls me names about my weight. we only have sex when he wants to. when he calls me these names it only makes me want to seek comfort in the food i love. mainly chocolate. good on you for trying something different with your sailing program. people who say you have an attitude problem are often the ones with problems themselves.

take care,
tia_leeshy

Written by tia_leeshy, 25. Nov 2004 10:46 PM

Dear KC
I will take your advice to heart and be very careful what I say to people from now on. This is a reminder just how words can hurt..

It must have been awful.. like a slap in the face... as you were enjoying your sailing.. the ocean.. the breeze.. the hope of meeting a sea animal... riding the tides... relaxing...feeling so small as opposed to the ocean...

And then THAT!!!

I send you my LoVe and support KCD...

It hurts to know that someone has hurt you like this..
You are beautiful..~~~*

The boy doesn't know the difference between a bad attitude and squinting at the sun and reflection off the water..

Take care and keep on sailing.. There are sharks out there... But we dolphins stick together..
LoVe yA!

Written by image, 25. Nov 2004 11:09 PM

Hi again, Kcdbooks...i was so sorry to read that you were hurt.people can be so immature and heartless..i hope you can accept, that this boy, was probably ..an idiot...and will face his karma one day... but i am in awe of your interest in sailing..the wide open waters have long seemed mighty scary to me, i imagine the skill of handling a boat to be exhilirating...Kc, as you say, you have been consitant and positive, that is the strength You possess. I know what you mean 'bout feeling happy for no reason.. its a sense of loss..of the innocence..however, i feel its not always this way, it can be there at times ,and with good loving friends..not that i have many! well. k. thanks for sharing your day with us. sending you love.arte.

Written by Anonymous, 26. Nov 2004 12:36 AM

Dearest KC,

"I was also sorry to read the hurt that was inflicted on you"...."actually i felt bloody angry!!".

"Some people can be SO hurtful and mean"..

like Arte mentioned..this boy.."AND MAY I STRESS BOY" will have to face his Karma one day...."what goes around comes around".

"KC DON'T LET THIS IMMATURE AND "YES" HEARTLESS PERSON STOP YOU FROM ENJOYING YOUR "AMAZING" INTEREST.

"WOW!!" KC it must be truly beautiful out on the ocean with the wind in your hair.

"I get a real kick just taking the dingy out fishing" lol..."i can just imagine what an experience sailing must be".

"YOU GO GIRL !!!!!" :)

"MUCH SUPPORT & LOVE"

Written by Anonymous, 26. Nov 2004 02:02 AM

Hi KC..
I am still sending you my LoVe my friend.

I can't stop thinking how hypocritical it is that that person acted so badly and had the ordasity to comment on YOUR attitude..

What we see in others ..we too possess.. people are mirrors of ourselves...

"there is no matter"
"relationships exist only in our minds.." we make of them what we will.. like gardens or paintings..

Him calling you that.. does not make you that...
It says more about his state of mind NOT. It is not a reflection on me.

Oh mi Gosh K.C.. I just remembered.. In yr 9, me and friend sara were from perth (we had just bought school bags)
and this DRUG INDUCED %#*&%ER Turned around to me and shouted "YOU ARE SOOO FUCKING UGLY"
oh mi gosh I didn't know WHAT to do.. it wasn't our stop yet.. My friend said "this is our stop" and we changed carriages.. but FAR OUT.. it hurt.. But you what KC... I am far from ugly... I have my ancestors genes.. how could I be?
Love you girl.

Written by image, 26. Nov 2004 02:58 PM

typo's again.. Not you..
and it is not a reflection on you..

you can see by the freudian slip that i tell myself this ALL THE TIME.. LOL

And I probably spelt freud wrong too.. LOL

where is my dictionary??

Written by image, 26. Nov 2004 03:01 PM

"Hi" :) KC

"Just dropping by to say hello and see how your feeling".

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOX " MUCH SUPPORT & LOVE


Image.."i'm so sorry that boy inflicted such pain on you".

"BLOODY FOOL NEEDS HE'S EYE'S CHECKED!" :) XO

Written by Anonymous, 26. Nov 2004 07:51 PM

Hi Kcdbooks,
I think the best possible thing I could say to you after this horrible experience is I know who the more beautiful person is and it most definately is not the boy who inflicted this pain on you. Beauty is so much more than skin deep and you have showed the beauty you hold in being able to tell other people to watch what they say and showing concern not only to your feelings but to those of so many other people who dont look like supermodels. I send you lots of love and support.

Written by mum97, 27. Nov 2004 11:23 AM

BIG HUG ((((((((((((((((KC)))))))))))))))))))

We all LoVe U SOOOOOOOO much.. oxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxx

Written by image, 27. Nov 2004 12:54 PM