New School Counsellor
A page in the diary "The Words Behind My Tears"
Written by kcdbooks 19. Nov 2004 06:33 PM
Well, I am at a loss for words:
To Image, Pinky, Shelley, Blu and a-Leng: thank you for your words of wisdom, support, strength, encouragement and happiness, they mean a lot to me. Thank you for pulling me out of the depths again, I'm not sure where I would be without people like you. Your comments put a smile on my face, and I hope that means a lot to you.
I have just switched counsellors and have been instructed to say some things about the experience of "switching":
The feelings throughout the process of changing go something like this: apprehension, hope, sadness, happiness, sadness, apprehension and happiness.
It has not been easy saying good bye to one person and starting all over again. It wasn't easy saying to the first counsellor that I wanted to leave, it hasn't been easy adjusting to the new ways of the new counsellor, it hasn't been easy saying good bye or anything like that. But, ya know, life isn't easy.
I've learned that it is possible to differentiate between a "professional relationship" and a "personal relationship" and that, with one person, both types of relationships can occur at the same time.
I've learned that saying goodbye is never easy, that having to call it quits takes guts and strength. Saying goodbye is a process and grieving is alright.
I've seen how far I have come, that I'm no longer the sick kid who whimpers in bed at night.
I've come to realise that I have a long way to go, that there is no easy way, that I have to work hard if I want to feel better.
I've learned about self-repect, personal time, and that it is never easy.
I'm looking forward to going to new places and creating new relationships.
At the same time, I've started to feel really bad again, lonely, and sad, and I've started to cry a lot more, but there are the good days and the bad.
Good luck to all of you deppies,
kcdbooks