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progress vs motivation

A page in the diary "My Dairy"
Written by cristina 28. Sep 2004 07:11 PM

it's been 15 days since i wrote anything in here and i think in a way that represents progress in my condition. it means that in a space of 15 days i haven't felt utterly low and resorted to writing on this to get out my feelings.

i don't know why i'm writing now; perhaps because i feel a bit upset for superficial reasons. the first reason would be my hair which i got done yesterday and unfortunately the hairdressers completely stuffed it up and made it so short even when i specifically asked them not to. my hair makes me look young and hideous and i despise it in every way, and by the looks of things- so do my friends. i'm going tomorrow to get extensions and thats going to take a big fat chunk out of my bank account. oh well, at least it will supply me with temporary confidence... probably not.

the second reason to my unhappiness would be that last night i went to a club, and i still haven't learnt my lesson after the last time and thus was faced with an even larger disaspointment than ever. this time it was a different club and not one guy would go near me- not even the loser ones! i was slightly shocked and disapointed and realised it's because of my weight. every single one of my friends were twigs compared to me and guys were giving them lots of attention, even if some may not be as pretty as the others. it's all about body to guys this age. if i were to lose 20 kilos i would have a boyfriend by now. the shallow state of our age era is unbelivable but i can't talk either- i'm just as shallow. coming home with ugly hair and frustration made me feel gloomy and back to step one in my "depression" phase. i kept on looking at my wrists and envisioning unplesant thoughts but stopped myself in time. i don't want this shit again.

apart from the fact that my work has stopped giving me shifts, i'm almost broke, i'm chubby, have crappy hair, bad skin and a lack of social life- everything's dandy. not.

i've been eating less lately but it seems i'm putting on more weight than ever. i desperately want to go back to the gym but i feel so embarrased in front of everyone so i haven't been in ages and i know this is my only chance to really get healthy because in future my mum won't be paying for my membership and i can't afford to. hopefully if the extensions go well i might find some confidence to return but i doubt i'll work out good. i've been contemplating buying a treadmill, areobics ball and gym mat but with what money? i'm not allowed to go for walks by myself so i can't excercise this way. i feel restricted from excercise, how horrible!

i bought this book which records the journey of a woman losing weight. she used to be 109 kilos and dropped to 65 which i believe is fantastic. i want to lose at least 20 kilos and i'm about 70 at the moment which would make me 50 kilos, or perhaps 55 if i dont lose that much. i reckon that's an excellent weight. 70 is too much for a girl my age, way too much.

i can't understand how i can place my weight on the internet without feeling the slightest bit embarrassed but at the gym i'm constantly blushing and hiding or running away from people or guys i once knew. where did all that confidence go? last night when i was dancing i knew i looked hideous so i stopped. little things like this really get me down and prevent me from enjoying myself to my full potential. oh well, that' life i guess. a pretty crap life.

this site always gets me down and is like a constant reminder that i'm depressed and have to remain that way.

i don't wish i could be someone else anymore, but i wish i could make some changes and altertions to my appearance and life. i guess that can also be clarified as progress but there's only one problem in this "progress" concept; i'm not making action. i know i should but i'm someone who puts things off forever until finally one day i pick it up again and then forget about it once more. i'm very lazy and unorganised, not to mention unmotivated.

what a shame,

cristina

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Comments from the community:

Hopefully the hair extensions will give you some confidence.

Just curious...why do you come to this site if it's just a horrible reminder that you suffer from depression? Surely it must help in someway, by letting you express yourself through these diary entries.

Just a thought that's all.

a-Leng

Written by a-Leng, 28. Sep 2004 08:55 PM

i didn't mean it in an offensive way. in my past entries i have mentioned the fact that these entries have helped me so much, i meant recently this site is a reminder that im depressed (something i am desperately trying to fight off) When i log on something bad has always happened or something is getting to me and therefore when i logged on this time i felt depressed and have gone wihtout feeling sad for so long. it was like taking one step backwards. if it offended you.. im sorry, i guess i just said it the wrong way.

Written by cristina, 29. Sep 2004 12:42 AM

Hi sweet heart :)

Hun i understand what your expressing...i know you didn't mean to offend anyone :)

It's WONDERFUL to read you haven't felt sad for such a long time :)

We haven't failed if we go backwards from time to time. I have also hit a bit of a wall of late.

That's ok precious girl :) we shall see those HAPPY days once more, it's all part of the journey, please don't be to down on your self when you slip Crisina, you will find your feet again, you have come so far in your journey and done some great work....your doing so well Cristina. :)

MUCH SUPPORT & LOVE XO :)

Written by Anonymous, 29. Sep 2004 01:17 AM

hi chris,

DONT WORRY! i bet you are beautiful!! im overweight and have a loving (and sexy) boyfriend who really loves me! and at 15 have fun! dont get tied down, party and find who you want to be. our weight is somthing that really affects how we see ourselves. good on you for improving your hair yay 2 you. as you get older you should naturaly loose some weight anyway, and trust me those skinny girls stack in on in their 20's!

dreamer

Written by dreamer, 29. Sep 2004 03:34 AM

you kno cristina, i used to think the same about depnet - it was a place where i could come and complain and get understanding. now i see it as a place for me to help others and support them and share my journey with friends. it is a place of understanding when other places in the world feel daunting and unsecure. it is a place where you can release your emotions without worrying about offending anyone because chances are we have felt what you're feeling at one time too. it is a place of strength, reading other peoples entries and seeing how far they have come since they first arrived. cristina, this is your place too.

you may not like the fact that you are depressed, but why hide it? if you dont like it here then dont write in here anymore. i want you to keep writing, but if it makes you unhappy, then stop. do what works for you cristina.

you know i want to lose weight too. but you need to realize that losing weight will not make you happier and less depressed. happiness will not come via weight loss because as soon as you've lost the weight, you will find another imperfection within yourself. before you can be happy you need to first love yourself... everything about yourself. yes you can change your weight but changing your weight will not change what you feel inside.

still, i know it is easier said than done, but screw the people at the gym. that is your time for you. nobody even watches other people at the gym because they are so focussed on themselves.

sweetie,
you HAVE made progress for which i am so proud. remain true to YOURSELF and not others. you will go so far, dear cristina.

just off the topic - i put on 7 kilos in a month and a half and i was exercising and eating not half bad, i finally clicked that it was my anti-depressiants. PERHAPS it could be this, so maybe talk to your doctor?!

Written by the_flirty_1, 29. Sep 2004 02:05 PM

thanks for your comment of support; i don't take anti-depressants because somehow i fear the thought of taking medication for my situation. i hace come to realise that what i said in this entry is not exactly how i feel. deep down i know that this site has helped regain my sense of ME and my writing passion. without it i would probably be trying to hurt myself or do something equally awful because i have no one who can offer me this kind of solace. im thankful that i discovered this and i am just so thankful that beautiful people like you and others on this site are willing to help someone they dont know but can empathise with. i am just so grateful! thankyou...

Written by cristina, 29. Sep 2004 05:37 PM

hugs time 100!

Written by dreamer, 30. Sep 2004 05:24 AM

Dearest Cristina Ballerina...:O)
I send you love and light..care and support...

Love from image oxo

Written by image, 30. Sep 2004 03:52 PM