About depression Help with depression Help for relatives Society DepNet Community My Depression

Read diary

stagnant

A page in the diary "My Dairy"
Written by cristina 28. May 2007 10:46 PM

my life is on pause. a miserable, slow, excruiating pause.

uni life...crumbled. do i blame filipe? i do. i blame myself for letting him get to me, for letting him ruin what i'd built for years.

my father has broken the internet connection and two computers in my house accidentally. this computer is being borrowed, but as a result i haven't been able to do uni work even if i wanted to. this has caused me incredible stress and many tears - they simply don't understand and continue to stress me out and yell at me on top of everything.

friends...what friends? ive shut myself off. the good friend i made at uni, is fading because i am not showing up - i am failing.

still no job. still no life.

still with him.

still the pain, aggression, tears... it's all there.

i am a miserable pathetic mess incapable of being anything other than what i am. that's what he told me. that's the truth.

« Prev page | Next page »
 

Comments from the community:

cristina

You need to get rid of filipe if he is having such a major negative effect on you. You deserve better and I am sure if you saw the back of filipe you health would improve, you would want to go to uni, be better on the whole. I know it is a hard decision to make but remember the saying 'you have to be cruel to be kind' and I think this is the case for you at the moment.

I rediscovered a friend on the weekend which was good. Now I know I have two friends I can rely on - haven't pushed them all away as I thought. You can rediscover your friends as well if you got motivated for going to uni. No one as the right to talk to you like that - a partner of someone with depression should be understanding and not treat you like that - say good bye to filipe and get your life back as you know it.

Go Cristina!!!

Studying1

Written by studying1, 28. May 2007 10:59 PM