About depression Help with depression Help for relatives Society DepNet Community My Depression

Read diary

so many issues!

A page in the diary "My Dairy"
Written by cristina 10. Aug 2004 09:23 PM

on account of having issues with school work, my actual work and family i also have some very severe issues with friends. every aspect of my life is tarnished in some way. i am actually in the process of writing my friend "stef" a letter about how i feel.. though i dont know if that will work out well. but if i dont do it now, ill never get around to it so i might as well hav a go. as for "elli" well i miss her i guess... i miss the old her. i dont know when thats going to be sorted out. why should i make the effort? why SHOULDN'T i make the effort? i've become so weak and too proud for my own good... i should just release myself and do what I want. in fact im going to call elli right now. fuck the barriers- rules were meant to be broken, barriers were freakin meant to be broken! and enough have been broken around me so why cant i break a few while im at it?
wish me luck

--

rang ellie; went reasonably well though i had to put on a bit of a happy facade in front of her. social issues arent really dealt out but friendship is more stable now. have good intentions for the future. have put off writing stef the letter, elli is my first priority at the moment and elli is willing to make an effort for me as i am for her. collected my wallet which i lost ages ago and a woman found- got my money back as well as clothes voucher... financial things seem good. my work called about organising my pay, so yet again they're looking up. subject selection kind of looking up- ive chosen for year 11 but now i have to focus on year 12. need to organise lunch for friday.. shit.

in a way this is like a personal organizer for me! how convenient... not really:) my first smile of the whole bloody thing.

« Prev page | Next page »
 

Comments from the community:

Hey there....

Well I am glad that you are taking control of your emotions with your friend. If you feel that Elli is the friend you want in your life, then yes you have to talk to her. Congrats on making that decision. Ya know sometimes releasing some of that anger is a good thing and it helps healing. I know it does for me, I yell if I have to. I have earned that right with all these years with depression. Girl break some of those barriers.....knock a few walls down. Be careful though, you never know what's on the other side of that wall. Smiles and Hugs!

Written by sweets29, 11. Aug 2004 02:51 AM

Hello Cristins Ballerina,
(do u mind that name? I sincerely hope u like it as much as I do, I will stop if u like...??)

You are amazing and brave. I feel proud of you. You have really have made some important steps.... Assertiveness- in phoning Elli. Good on you! Really.

Making serious goals for your wonderful future. Looking within and finding out what it is you truly want to do...

The universe brought your money and wallet and clothes voucher back. Honesty is a virtue...

You smiled to yourself.... You are creating your own happiness and sharing it with others.. I smiled when I read that you smiled.
You are a really good person. A special girl. When I read that Phil C asked if he could call you "Blossom", I felt my heart melt, because you are blossoming so beautifully.

Sending you my love and unconditional support.

Have a really happy day. Peace within.

Love from Image 000xxx000

Written by Anonymous, 11. Aug 2004 04:05 PM

thankyou sweets29 and image in particular for your compassionate comments. image- of course you can call me whatever you like; cristina ballerina sounds fine:) everytime i read your comments to me its like a weight momentarily lifts off my chest because everything you say is so valuable and kindly and i thank you for providing me with your help for so long now. even if i dont reveal it, im still expressing it silently it so thankyou once again. thanks to everyone!

Written by cristina, 12. Aug 2004 03:05 AM

Dearest Cristina Ballerina,
Thankyou for the comment. I am so glad that I have the priviledge to share my love and thoughts with someone as truly special and beautiful as you are.

Thankyou for recieving them so gracefully.

You are going to have an amazing life.
Because you are going to make it.
I wish you all the best of the very best because you deserve all good.

Goodnight and sweetdreams Cristina Ballerina.
Sending you my unconditional love and unlimited support. 000xxx000 Inner peace.

Written by Anonymous, 12. Aug 2004 03:23 AM