today
A page in the diary "My Dairy"
Written by cristina 5. Aug 2004 12:58 AM
today was... reasonably good. perhaps because i didn't speak to elli once. perhaps because my rival wasn't at school because she was nursing a "hang over". or perhaps because god finally felt sorry for me and decided to give me a break from my gloom, just a slight little break.
strangely today i acknowledged many people who greeted me warmly or hugged me or did something nice. i felt like a curled flower, exposing its buds of beauty and bliss momentarily when everyone talked sweetly to me. why did i attract so much attention today? it was so strange, yet somewhat liberating. tomorrow, i know, will be drab and miserable once again, but today seemed nice though there still is the big issue of my weight. though happy, i still came hope to eat as much as i could which kind of represents the fact that i haven't fully recovered. i literally felt sick whilst eating. i did not want to eat a bite; i was so full and yet i still managed to consume half the contents of my fridge. im such an ignorant fool! im poisoning myself with all these fatty, greasy foods and all that im getting out of it is misery, extra flab and pimples. YUCK!
i have to join the gym tomorrow; i have to. its time to open my eyes to the light. its time.
god give me the strength and motivation to do this...
theres so many errands that i have to run tomorrow after school- it'll be impossible to join the gym!