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remain positive

A page in the diary "My Dairy"
Written by cristina 31. Jul 2004 09:37 PM

i found out today from my mother that my father has a tuma in his left cheek which will prove fatal if he does not get it removed. why? why did she have to say that? why now? she made me feel like it was my fault for it... like somehow my hatred towards him has inflicted him with such an illness, but of course, that's physcially impossible. whenever i felt sad and fearful after one of his little "violence" episodes, i used to say: "i hope he gets what he deserves in the end" but i never actually meant it. and now it seems that this is worse than i thought. sometimes i used to wish he would die.. and i regret all those feelings. i take them all back. how i could i have been so heartless? i always knew something was wrong with me but i never really fully comprehended how sick i was. how utterly horrible i am.
even now, after finding that little fact out, i still cant bring myself to communicate with my father though i wish i could. if only he didnt have such a fierce, hateful temper, then perhaps things could have been better- for everyone. he is still away at the moment and even though i still feel angry at him, i do hope he is gaining some peace and rest in his time of worry. but i also hope that he stops taking out his stress on me just because i am physically vulnerable and younger.

i went to a party last night with several friends. come to think of it i've been to a lot of parties lately yet i feel like im still alone. i actually quite enjoyed the party until we got back to my "friend's" house. everyone was bonding and talking (it was a girls night- for once) and everyone, other than me, seemed to be having a ball. i feel immune to friendship at the moment, in fact i couldnt even stand having one-on-one conversations with anyone at my friends' house last night even if i've known them for at least 4 years now. oh well. yet again, ive failed.

the subject descision-making for VCE has arose and rather than feeling excited and eager to enter this new stage in my life, i feel terrified and confused. everyone knows what path they want to pursue in their career but i dont. i once did... but thats all gone now. i hate it. i feel so lost now without my dreams.

a motivational speaker came to talk at our school, more commonly known as "toadie's" girlfriend in neighbours. she was telling us about her life as a struggling teenager who had escaped the burdens of home to pursue an independant life by herself in melbourne, though it hadnt really lived up to what she expected it to be. her stories and comments were so inspiring and invigorating that it actually made me grasp a tiny shred of hope for the time being. she told us how she managed to live her dreams using her heart and mind and for seconds i actually believed that maybe i could get through life doing the same... but then i realised that she is, after all, a very beautiful woman and i'm not, so no wonder people actually listened to her. she is enticing- both in personality, and in her physique. anyway the point of this little story was that she said these exact words which made me feel hopeless and utterly lost "our dreams are what wakes us up in the morning... what keeps us going through life... without our personal dreams we would have nothing to live for..." and i realised i had nothing to live for.. just thought i'd share that.

i wish i could be anyone but me. thats my one main ambition in life, to be someone other than myself, but that thought once again makes me feel horrible and heartless.

this entry is so jumpy its making me dizzy. but thats how i feel at the moment, jumpy, jittery, confused, alienated etc etc ETC.

i feel like i go through these phases every now and again- a hazy nightmare phase which crosses over to an actual nightmare then back to the haziness once more. at the moment im stuck in the haziness which i suppose eases some of the pain from my past nightmare, but still doesnt give me any happiness or escape from my turmoil. im scared that one day soon ill wake up to another nightmare and be stuck there forever which is why im trying depserately to block out all the persistent negative thoughts evolving in my head. i have to remain positive. i have to!

positive. positive. positive.

positivity=eternal happiness=life

negativity=eternal sadness=death

which equation will i end up with?


----

thankyou image, phil c, rondi, blackdougbl and all those other brilliant-minded, beautiful-hearted people who have all left me posts in my past entries. without your consoling words of love and support, i wouldnt be typing right now. thankyou.

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Comments from the community:

Dearest Cristina,

"I wish i could give you a "BIG" hug and take your pain away.
"I'm so sorry to hear about your Father","it's not your fault"," you are Not horrible","you are Not heartless".
"You are a very BRAVE SMART young woman full of COMPASSION LOVE & GOOD."
"I believe there are great things ahead of you on your path,your journey,i believe in you.
"You have been through so much for a young woman","your dreams have become lost along the way", "i believe you will find those dreams once more","give your self time","please don't be so hard on your self","you are going through so much at the moment".

"Please take care","i seend you & your family much love & support in this time". xxxxxxooooooo

Written by Anonymous, 1. Aug 2004 04:46 AM

"Positivity = Eternal Happiness = Life"

Written by Anonymous, 1. Aug 2004 04:49 AM

Dear Christina,

I am so sorry! Like Shelley I wish I could take away all your pain and show you just how much more there is to your life... But I know that sometimes it is hard.

There are two direct comments that I really wanted to make though... The first is that your fathers ilness is not your fault. No matter what thoughts you have had about him, you didn't make him sick. But also, please don't be too hard on yourself for feeling those thoughts that you have had in the past... He has hurt you, not just physically but also emotionally, and it is natural that at those times you are going to have the thoughts you did. It definitely doesn't make you a horrible person, in fact, I think you are a very strong and wonderful person... you have had to deal with so much but you are still in there fighting for a better future. Most would have given up including me if I was in your shoes... but not you. You are incredible!

The second point that I wanted to make is that in one respect you are wrong. You know when you were talking about that woman who came to talk at school you said that "after all she is a very beautiful woman and I'm not..." Well guess what... you are beautiful! I don't know what you physcially look like, but the person I have grown to know through Depnet is absolutely gorgeous... and in my mind, that sort of beauty is far preferable to the physical kind.

Hang in there Christina and please feel free to write to me if you need to. You can find me at temporarycontact1000@hotmail.com Best of luck!

Love,
Shane :-)

Written by NSWBodhi, 1. Aug 2004 12:50 PM

Dearest Cristina.
Remaining positive is the best thing to do. Cancer is not a death sentence these days. Cancer can be treated successfully, if the patient is willing to change idea's and lifestyle into a positive. It wasn't your thoughts and feelings that created this dis-ease it was your father's negative thoughts and feelings that created this tumour. It just goes to show just what damage negativity can do to body, let alone relationships, self esteem and experiences. Just as a happy positive mindset can create miracles.

I want you to really make an effort to start being your own best friend. Tell yourself all the things you want to hear from other people. Reassure yourself. It takes less amount of energy to do this than to berate yourself and the outcome is alot nicer. The feelings are pleasant and you begin to see just how amazing and unique you are. One way to start this is by not comparing yourself to other people. If you just stop this one thing, your self love will improve. If you cannot bear to look at yourself in the mirror and say "i Love you", then find a baby photo and tell your inner child that you love you. The results will surprise you. I was over weight in high school after I left home and I think it was not due to over eating- because I had no money for food, but more like a fat blanket of protection. I am a size 10 now and I visualized my body to look this way. I am still eating junk and sitting on my bottom alot. As a matter of fact, I think I look alot better now, than I ever have. I did it with my mind and nothing more. I know you can harness the power of your brilliant mind to do the same for you. I recommend you seek out LOUISE L HAY books, tapes. C.D's. Her philosophies absolutely work. (She cured her own cancer without surgery). My email is moonchild_715@hotmail.com I invite you to be a contact on msn.

I hope you are having a great time at the gym today. I am sending you my love. I will be thinking of you. Love from Image.

Written by Anonymous, 1. Aug 2004 03:43 PM

hey chicki,
good to see you're back.
dont have much to say right now except take care of yourself. don't blame yourself for things you can't control.
*hugs*

Written by the_flirty_1, 1. Aug 2004 06:35 PM

Hi Blossom (may I call you that?)

You keep on going down that hard positive road and bugger what thinks happen to you to try to trip you up, You are a good person and have heaps to offer all of us. Take heart from the fact that all this stuff is not easy to get over and sometimes we have to fight like buggery to keep ourselves on top (with a little help from Mr Prothiaden).

Take care and stay safe... Phil

Written by PhilC, 2. Aug 2004 02:17 PM