Read diary

fed up

A page in the diary "My Dairy"
Written by cristina 17. Mar 2007 11:04 AM

NOT A GOOD MORNING.........

woke up, realised my father had thrown out a bunch of my shopping vouchers and a whole pile of important scribbled uni notes that i had meant to type up. WHY? because they made the house look cluttered. in my absolute desolation i ran to the bin but i refused to go near it, how disgusting. i dont know why but this incident triggered a helpless sense of defeat within me.

i have been crying for an hour, not over that, oh no- i really couldn't care less after all, but just..i dont know. im so distraught. i dont want to feel this way anymore. i have been crying every single day for such a long time now and i want it to stop. the unpleasant thinking, the tears, the self-hatred...just please, all of it, GO AWAY.

not sure if there will ever be a solution. perhaps i will be stuck with this forever. no. send it away. please.

« Prev page | Next page »

Comments from the community:

Hi cristina, we've never met on here before, but I want you to listen if you can hunni.
Without sounding like an official or anything, I know depression inside out and believe me it doesn't just go away ON IT'S OWN. As long as you are getting the correct medical support mentally, physically and if needed chemically - you will get better at managing your days. DO NOT hate yourself or your life, you are created the same as every other human being, and just like other human beings we sometimes become sick. In our case - depression - an illness. If this helps, one of the keys to managing your thoughts is to try and stop the downward slide of your perception of what you believe to be a depressive moment. Recognising what is happening as it begins to happen, and stopping it in its track can help a lot. Always remind yourself that you are as worthy of happiness as anyone, that you are a beautiful human being and have a lot to offer. Please also don't dwell in the past, as yesteday has gone and you cannot change what occured. But today and tomorrow is something you can change, and you have the power in your hands to make it good and positive.
The old saying that time heals isn't exactly true. Time only heals if we manage our thoughts and our minds so that the past doesn't haunt us.
You will be fine believe me, but more importantly believe it yourself.

Huge Hugs :-)
Andy

Written by andyknox, 17. Mar 2007 01:52 PM

Cristina

Andy says it all perfectly. The only thing I can add is see your doctor/psychiatrist and get some medications if you are not already taking them.

Studying1

Written by studying1, 17. Mar 2007 05:06 PM

About depression	Help with depression	Help for relatives	Society	DepNet Community	My Depression