poems
A page in the diary "My Dairy"
Written by cristina 12. Jul 2004 07:04 PM
here are some poems i wrote through my darkest times... they're not very complex because at the time i was emotionally exhausted and didnt have the strength to evoke any inner creativity, but they represent a large part of what i was feeling at the time.
--
A great big vortex
Never-ending cocoon of despondency
Sucking me into the perpetual blackness
Drowning,
Suffocating,
No escape.
--
If I died today, would anyone shed tears for me tomorrow?
If I died tomorrow would anyone shed tears for me today?
No… they wouldn’t
Because no one knows
The pain
I feel
When it pierces my skin
And my heart
And makes me shed my own tears
No one knows
Because everyone is oblivious to my loneliness
To my plea for help
To my presence
If I died today, would my family shed tears for me tomorrow?
If I died tomorrow would my family shed tears for me today?
No… they wouldn’t
Because they think I am selfish
They don’t know how I feel
They don’t care
They think I am
I am a mindless teen
I am a trouble maker
I am a rebel
I am without love
I am without feeling
I am a nobody
I am just a person, who was not meant to be on Earth
Who walks a lonely path, an aimless path
To death
If I died today, would my friends shed tears for me tomorrow?
If I died tomorrow would my friends shed tears for me today?
No… they wouldn’t
Because I have no friends
Only people
Who I speak to, but don’t feel
Who I laugh with, but don’t cry
Who will only listen to happiness
And not my sadness
Who don’t want me
Who don’t need me
I am just an irritating friend, who is not a friend at all
Who is just a person, an extra
An outsider
If I died today, would God shed tears for me tomorrow?
If I died tomorrow would God shed tears for me today?
No… He wouldn’t
Because He can’t hear me
He doesn’t exist
And if He did
He would not hear anyway
For I am a silent voice
A despairing voice
An empty voice
If I died today, would anyone shed tears for me tomorrow?
If I died tomorrow would anyone shed tears for me today?
No… they wouldn’t
Because I am already dead
Inside
And nobody knows
Nobody cares
Nobody feels
Nobody sheds tears
I shed my own tears
Every single day
I always have
Because I am empty
I am lonely
I was never here on Earth
I am dead
Someone save me… please
Please, please, please
Liberate me
please…
--
there are a lot of other poems but they too personal to post on here.
it was my first day back at school and i dont want to speak of it. all i can say is that it was like i was a tiny piece of nothingness lost in a vast sea of confusion. how will i survive? so many questions and just no answers! it makes me so infuriated... i need answers. i need so many answers. i just want answers!