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motivation

A page in the diary "My Dairy"
Written by cristina 9. Jul 2004 10:08 PM

what will give me motivation to just get up and survive through a day? what will give me motivation to stop eating away my sorrows by indulging in fattening foods and instead take on a healthier approach for my self-benefit? what will give me the motivation to achieve good grades and work to the best of my ability at school? what will give me the motivation to stop lying to my friends in order to defend my reputation and instead start acting like a good friend and an actual existing friend? what will give me the motivation to wake up from this hazy slumber and reach for the light? what will give me the motivation to expose my feelings to the people i love without feeling ashamed or fearful? what will give me the motivation to stop hiding behind my friends in front of guys and instead step forward and confidently introduce myself? what will give me the motivation to stop feeling sorry for myself and instead acknowledge all the good things surrounding me however invisible they seem? what will give me the motivation to start listening to compliments instead of being deaf to them and ignore all the words of hurt? what will give me the motivation to begin indulging in the things i onced loved such as writing and reading? what will give me the motivation to be more organised in life and rather than strive to live up to other's expectations; live up to my own?

what will give me the motivation to realise that my yearning for motivation will only be met when i can be motivated enough to find it?

i have to wake up and start living.

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Comments from the community:

hi Cristina

...you have woken up...

...and you are your best source of motivation...

I can see it there in your writing...it is definitely emerging...don't let go of it...embrace it...slowly...start small...your own pace...forget others expectations for now...

...let Cristina be your guide...she has new wisdom...

take care

Written by Anonymous, 10. Jul 2004 01:09 AM

Christina

I agree with blackdog, you are waking up and seeing the REAL world and wher you fit into it. I read your latest entry and I think you are turning some significant corners. I have to tell you I eat lots too, most of which is not good for me but tastes great. "the start of a long journey starts with one step" I am not sure who said that but as far as I am concerned I set my own step by step goals and try real hard not to find out what "normal" means. The more I discover about my depression the more I understand about myself. Its a bit frightening at times but if I can get motivated to take the next small step I can sit back at the end of the day and say well done (helps heaps with self esteem). One day I will eat the right stuff and get rid of a few kilos, thats the next big challenge for me. Motivation is something you wont get from a text book or having people tell you what right and wrong. I firmly believe that motivation starts in our hearts and finds its way to the way we think and do stuff. Keep on keeping on.... Phil

Written by PhilC, 11. Jul 2004 06:04 PM

Hi Cristina,

You do have some motivation - motivation to get better and awake from this slumber. You wouldn't be here on depnet if you didn't want to get better. To me, that is a huge sign of motivation! Sure, it can be hard, but nothing in life was made to be easy. Suffering from depression can make you not want to do any of the former things you once enjoyed however, things do get easier.

Concentrate on making small goals that you can achieve rather than trying to focus on what things will be like when you are 100% better. Focus on making mini goals for each day or every few days. For example, if eating healthy/fitness is important to you and you arent doing much about it now, make a mini goal for every few days to go out for a walk, even if it is only a 10 min walk... :)

despite what you may think you do have motivation and the more you get better, the more motivation you will get back :)

Written by the_flirty_1, 11. Jul 2004 07:11 PM

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