Memories
A page in the diary "The Daydreaming Student of Life"
Written by a-Leng 27. Jul 2006 03:06 PM
This time the recovery program has asked me to write down some memories from the past although I can't tell whether I'm supposed to write the good things or the bad so I shall do both.
For me that was a fair few years ago I think it would've been before I was 13, although I was only diagnosed until my late teens.
Anyway, so, before I was 13 I was a relatively happy and confident person. I did well in school and I wasn't overweight. I used to do Chinese folk dancing back in those days, which would've helped with my flexibility and posture. My smile was pretty and I was generally satisfied with the way I looked.
High School started for me a few months after I turned 13. At first things were good, it was kinda funny, I almost developed an instant reputation for myself. People were even surprised when I didn't nominate myself for SRC (Student Representative Council). I guess I was never really the type for leadership roles. I made friends easily enough, and most people were nice to me.
Later on things changed though, I gained weight, I started doing worse in school, I lost confidence in myself and I did strange things. People noticed and because of this my reputation changed for the worse. I think this was when I first started getting depressed. Eventually the majority of the friends I had ditched me, and not only that did cruel things to me, like write nasty notes and either stuck them on my back without me knowing or put them in my locker. Most of the students in my year level had no respect for me which didn't help with my confidence.
Fortunately things improved a little. I got diagnosed with major depression and although I wasn't pleased with this the medication I took helped a lot with my mood. I later learned to make new friends. The only things that remained bad were my school grades and my weight.