tomorrows my birthday... and I forgot
A page in the diary "A useless piece of carp- yes I meant to spell it that way"
Written by nothingnew 29. Jul 2008 10:53 PM
Wow... I forgot!
I feel very blergh today.
You've all told me advice about what to do, but my brain is just making up excuses to not listen to them.
Firstly, I went to see my school counsellor in year 8 when my parents divorced, and she told me, out of all the things she possibly could have said, not to blame my dads gf (who he cheated on my mum with) because its not her fault she was out looking for a man the same time he was looking for a woman... that was not the sort of thing a 13 year-old wants, or needs to hear above everything else.
Then my mum took me to a relationships australia counsellor, the same year, who asked me a lot of questions that I hadnt been comfortable telling anyone else, and she went straight away and told my mum.
My CBT psychologist that I had when I first took myself to a doctor never had anything to say... we sat in silence mostly.. and only had 1/2 hour sessions.. then he told me he was leaving a day before he left, told me he'd call me to arrange a new psychologist, and never did...
I can't take any more professionals doing stuff like that... I have the lowest self esteem ever, and I have since I was younger than 8 and each time they let me down, I take it personally...
Maybe lazy's not the right word to describe me.. just too overwhelmed by fear of failing and inadequacy to do anything... the hsc is kinda hell..
I've been trying to see my year advisor all day today, but she's been busy... I just... I don't know
sleep in heavenly peace... slee-eep in heavenly peace