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A page in the diary "A useless piece of carp- yes I meant to spell it that way"
Written by nothingnew 10. Jul 2008 02:16 PM

I feel weird today..

Didn't get to sleep til past 2am last night, and woke up at 11am... Probably because I was such a sloth yesterday, I didnt even leave the house.

Its getting harder and harder to get out of bed... I have nothing to do all day... I'm sitting here now too scared to call a friend and ask if they want to do something, because Im worried that they're busy...

People say "get up, get moving, get happy", but its not that easy... I hate leaving the house unless i'm going to another suburb. Even then, I'm always looking out to make sure I don't see somebody I know..

Oh the life of an agoraphobic..

Oh and did I mention I had another almost panic attack yesterday? This one was the first time I was at home and nearly had one. I was thinking about people calling me self absorbed, and all of a sudden I couldn't breathe properly and my heart was beating like crazy.. I managed to stop it though..

I feel like I'm wasting my teenage life... everyone else I know is out there having fun and being stupid, but i'm pinned to the house looking after my sister, and even when she's not home (out with HER friends), I'm still home doing nothing. People say I have the power to change my situation, and I know I do.. but its like I can't be bothered...

*sighs* my dads just invited me to have lunch with him and my sister... I guess i had better go and get ready...

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Comments from the community:

Nothing

Hun I can relate to this diary so much. I have had a sloth day today and want to go shopping but hubby said no. Not fair as I need some groceries that I didn't get yesterday.

Get some help for the agrophobia and panic attacks as they are not pleasant. I find my panic attacks get worse when there are crowds - holidays, school/uni holidays. You need to work out how yours work and discuss them with your psychiatrist/psychologist.

Go Nothing!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 10. Jul 2008 05:31 PM