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Written by grannie 29. Aug 2008 01:16 PM

Yesterday I guess I faced the realities of my grandchildrens lives.I let my son convince me to go to a visitation with my grandson.He had to pick him up from the chidcare centre and return him there after a 3 hour visit.My greatgrandson 3 also goes to the same childcare centre in a different class.On returning my grandson we parked in the parking area not realizing that the older children could see any one entering or leaving this centre all the older children were playing outside , my son returned the little one and was walking out when the other little one saw him he ran toward the fence then down to another fence watching us and crying ,I so wanted to go to him and just hold him and cuddle him.But am not allowed.As we left, here was this 3 year old little boy at the fence crying a staff member came to him and we drove away.It was heart breaking.As this is going to be the pick up and drop off place for future contact how do I make DOCS see the what they are doing to these 2 little boys emotionally. Sure it is a unusaul situation having a grandson and great grandson to the same mother.There just has to be a better way.I am finally getting a meeting next week with the head of the complaints unit in Brisbane I dont think it will change any thing Govt. depts are so set in the way they operate.It has finally been accepted that my grandson was hurt whilst in his mothers care but that doesnt seem to matter any more its now all about who is a better parent, so the children will probably stay in care for at least another year.Back and forward between parents their little lives on hold , people being judged on inaccurate reports, false allegations, and the Dads living in constant fear of these 2 little boys even just falling over or getting dirty.As this will be used against them.I grew up in the 50s, 60s when the Child Welfare system abused the children in care, now its the new century, and nothing has really changed, just a different type of abuse.I would never want any one to go through my life when I was growing up.I wonder if talking to a councellor if I could find one I could trust would really help dealing with my past or is it too late now.And how do I get people to judge the parents of these 2 precious little ones for who they are not for my past being used against them.Sure my life is over but seeing and living what is going on now really hurts deep down.TC ALL

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Comments from the community:

U need to get your sons solicitor to request a diff pick-up point.
Even if it was organised that the older child was away from any vantage point there's still the chance he may see u guys or the car. Its not fair on him as he simply cant understand.
Im sure the boss @ the creche would be happy enough to do a stat dec stating how upset the child got if u explained your reasons to her.
Your clearly thinking of whats in the best interests of the child & I cant see it bein a prob getting changed.
Sux tho...
xxx

Written by Gyps, 29. Aug 2008 01:26 PM

Hi Grannie

this is awful, I feel for you so much, not well enough to digest what seems like a wrong situation.

You will get advice here hear it and use what works.

From me, well a big hug, hang in there.

Liz

Written by keller, 29. Aug 2008 01:31 PM

Also by requesting a diff pick-up point due to the affect seeing u but not being able to have physical contact is having on the older child, what your doing is showing the courts that your thinking of whats in the childs best interests.
Sure u guys wanna see him, but rather than manipulate the situation so u can, your more concerned about his emotional wellbeing than your own desire to see him.
By showing the courts that by requesting the change, its only a positive for u guys in the courts eyes.
Mmmwa
xxx

Written by Gyps, 29. Aug 2008 01:32 PM

Definately something else needs to be arranged for pick up and drop off. They will understand that. Tell the complaints Department since you already have a meeting with them. Hang in there Grannie. It's not all about you though, I really think this situation is somewhat unusual and they are unsure how to deal with it.

Written by maple, 29. Aug 2008 03:19 PM

Dear Grannie,
Wish I could say something constuctive and give advice on your problems. The other comments make sense, please take care and look after yourself
Thinking of you
Janene

Written by Janene, 29. Aug 2008 04:28 PM