Read diary

out of words

A page in the diary "Wednesday's Child"
Written by vivica 10. Aug 2008 10:33 PM

and I don't know what to do with myself anymore. Everything just seems too hard at the moment and I don't know if I can cope.
And it's frustrating and it makes me angry because this doesn't seem the way that things should be. But I guess I could whinge and moan all day about how it's not fair...
I didn't go to work today, I called in sick. Party because my tummy was a-hurtin'.
But mostly because I felt (and feel) like all the strength has been sapped from my body and all I wanted to do was curl up under a pile of blankets and die (well, the latter didn't eventuate). Which is also very frustrating, because this is not who I am!
I am not this miserable, self-loathing depressive who resents everything and wishes harm on herself.
It's not me. I want my life back. I don't even remember what it was like before the depression took it over.
I just want it to stop.
Eh.

« Prev page | Next page »

Comments from the community:

Hi Viv,

"It's not me. I want my life back"

I too have said this and I am sure many others hear have said or thought it. It feels like another life ago we were the persons we want to be now.

However, we are not and this is really soul destroying I know.

What to do? Well get back to the things that work well for you.

Do you need to make a daily/weekly plan? Write down the things you have to do, uni work etc and then ad the things you like to do. Even if its a 5 minute walk, maybe its going to see a film, maybe it is sitting in the womens room at uni. We are all differnt.

In addition to that do you have a good plan worked out with your Rd or hopefully psych about things to do to improve your thinking?

I got a really good book sent to me by my psychologist called "Mind Over Mood" I can send it to you if you want as I have scanned the pages and have real use for a paper book. Its about taking back control and its a work bookl. Pretty good. Let me know and we can sort out postal through red chat in diary, or I can have it sent to a shop or something public so you are too worried about revealing your details etc.

Anyway Viv, hope today is a better day.

Let me know if I can do anything else for you.\\Take care

Liz

Written by keller, 11. Aug 2008 01:29 PM

About depression	Help with depression	Help for relatives	Society	DepNet Community	My Depression