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ARGHHHHHHH!

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Written by Lozza37 24. Jun 2008 11:29 PM

I have had enough. I am sick and tired of defending myself, first it was when my husband was drunk and he twisted everything I said. Now my teenage son is doing it too. As soon as he dosen't get his own way or I try and exert some autority I get that I am a crazy bitch and there is something wrong with me. I can't deal with it anymore. I really can't. Now he is in tears and I find it really hard to feel sorry for him. Why should I, he doesn't give a dam how I feel. I don't want him living here anymore. I don't really want my husband here either. If could do it guilt free I would leave ALL of them and live by myself. Why do they refuse to even try and understand how I feel. As soon as I try to do something about it I am having one of my 'little tantrums. Let her get it out of her system and then we will go back to exactly the same as always.' And that is the real problem. It truely feels like no-one is listening to me, my feelings mean nothing to nobody. I am just a silly little girl that gets dismissed.
I think I will stop doing everything for my 15yo and make him do it and then he might actually see ALL the things I do for him. I have bent over backwards for him, to try and give him a great childhood, one he will look back on and say' yeah I had a really good childhood, my Mum loved me heaps' but I know that all he will remeber is that his mum was a crazy bithc and didn't let me do anything. Never gave my all the money I wanted etc etc etc. Arghhhhhh!!!!

ahhhhhh, feel a bit better now that I have got that out. well not really because I don't know what to so anymore. It isn't going to change, I can't think of anymore ideas.

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Comments from the community:

Lozza

Be strong and don't do anything for your son, unless he asks you to do it. You have to show you are in control. His tears won't work and don't let them make you feel worse. He is the baby and you are the strong one.

Go Lozza!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 25. Jun 2008 12:11 AM

PS Lozza

I know what you mean about being sick of defending yourself. I am sick of justifying myself to depnet, friends, Queen Bee. Guess it comes with the territory.

Go Lozza!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 25. Jun 2008 12:12 AM

Got sick of my ex tellin me I sat on my fat ass & did nothin so 1 w'end when we had his kids I did EXACTLY that!
From the time I woke til the time I went to bed I read!
HE had 2 cook clean wash do dishes, EVERYTHING for 4 kids.
But he NEVER said it again!

Written by Gyps, 25. Jun 2008 02:19 AM

Lozza,

I no longer defend myself or justify myself to anyone. I am me, and I am comfortable in knowing who that is and I could not care less what others think. We spend so much time in life trying to justify ourselves when all it does is make people talk more and put us down more as they know that it gets to us. If it did not bother us, then we would not have to justify ourselves, hence they would have no reason to carry on as there would be no reaction.

It took me many years to realise this and now, no one even bothers me. If they say something to get a bite, well tough luck you have to go fishing for that!!!!

As long as you are confident in who you are and what you stand for, then let them carry on, just let them go and do not respond. All they are doing is trying to get a reaction from you, to then keep up the banter on you and bring you to an unhappy place.

Let them do some things for themselves, then if they still do not appreciate you, their tough luck. As a Mum and wife, you can only do so much, and if that is not good enough, it will never be.

Hope you find the inner strength that you have and believe in yourself as I believe in you.

Written by Mumof2, 25. Jun 2008 08:44 AM

Hi,

Oh yes teenagers can be cruel, I'm 20yrs old now and sometimes I look back I really regret the way I treated my mother. It's not like I was a terrible child but going through that age I was selfish and I see now how my mum did so much for me, I know now why she would be so tired at the end of the day. It's not until now that I truely appreciate all the things she did and still does for me, it sometimes makes me sad and I cry because I didn't show my appreciation at the time.

I ensure you your son will also feel this way too and don't give in into HIS tantrums, you are the mother and you are the one who sets the boundaries not him.

Sometimes family are the last to figure things out, but keep reminding yourself that do appreciate and love you, sometimes they need to be reminded though, talk to them tell them how you feel abd how it hurts you deeply when you are dismissed made to feel like a joke to them. That you need their support and then you can do the same back.

Bluewave
xxoo

Written by bluewave, 25. Jun 2008 04:33 PM

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