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ok. ive lost it!!!!

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Written by hunni 30. May 2008 12:20 AM

have u eva felt so alone an like no1 cares? ppl say life is wot u make it! jeez if i had my way i wouldnt want to make my life in this big black hole that im in. i h8 this hole,i h8 everythin about it, the thoughts, feelings, EVERYTHIN!!! its almost as if days go bye im becomin more lonely than eva. the thoughts crossin my mind well lets just say there not wise ones. by this i mean im seriously thinkin about stayin in my room n hidin away from the world, from wot life is throwin at me.as i sit here cryin tryin to write my thoughts n feelins out do u think i can? NO, its all just to mixed up.. am i artha or am i martha?? ppl say only i will know but i dnt know but i dnt know. im so confused i dnt know wotto think or feel anymore. life isnt ment to be this easy they say but jeez is it ment to be this hard?? am i doin the right thin if i isolate myself will i cope?? im ova sooo many questions but no answers. i cnt isolate cos i wont cope but jeez y cnt i just talk bout wot is botherin me!! y?? how is it soo hard to say how ur feelin and wot ur thinkin? me is cos i dnt know wot im feelin or thinkin so how cn i say wen i dnt know myself?? wot is happenin to me?? i dnt understand.. im sic of bein the lost lil girl...

I dnt knoe wot is happenin one min i was fine next wow i fell dwn that slide n i fell dwn hard... soo many thoughts cn i do this?? im losin it but i cnt afford to loose it.. arghhhhhh...
i know im not alone so y cnt i keep tellin myself that.. sooo confused,emotional arghh

goin to try n have a sleep an maybe JUST maybe i will feel better.

take care all
dee

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Comments from the community:

HI HUNNI, as l am reading your diary,l feel like you are questioning to many questions, and l am not saying that is a bad thing, but you are overloading your thought pattern to much and it cant cope.if you want to isolate your self for awhile that is fine if it feels right for you. Before you can make anything make sense to yourself l think you really have to make peace with yourself .l now life can be so hard,and people are trying to help you .You just cant see that at the momement because of the depression .l now what im am writing is probably not going to make any sense; ,But just wanted to let you now that you are not alone believe me. Now l am lost for words. Take care
rubee xx

Written by rubee, 30. May 2008 10:05 AM

Hunni

Wow so many questions and you are the one that is able to answer all those questions. I felt part of the questions were me asking the same questions about myself. I hope you are able to get the answers you want/need to your questions.

Go Hunni!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 30. May 2008 01:19 PM

Hunni

I feel this is my diary because I am new to this mental health thing and wondering what I have/don't have and how best to overcome everything and putting on masks for friends.

Ronda

PS If you find the answers to your questions can you share the answers with depnet.

Written by studying1, 30. May 2008 02:04 PM

Hi Hunni,

Sounds like your mind is racing at a 100 miles a minute. I think it would be a good idea to discuss this with your p.doc as there are medications that can slow down your thoughts. I think a slowing of your thoughts right now would be a good thing for you. You just need time to rest and relax at the moment. Time to switch off the brain for a while, and while there's no on/off switch there are medications. I was given one about a year ago (I can't remember the name of it), but it was fantastic and really helped me.

Take care,

Karen xxxx

Written by fly, 30. May 2008 03:25 PM

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