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am i safe?

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Written by hunni 21. May 2008 09:49 AM

have u eva felt so unsafe that it scares u??
or eva felt astho something has happened but u cnt prove it or talk about it cos ur so scared that its happenin again??
soo many questions so lil answers :(

He opened my door without a sound,
he got the dog an tiptoed on the ground.
i woke up my sheets twisted around,
my clothes were also round n round.
did he hurt me or was it a restless night?
ill neva know its just not right.

i have nothin to go on,
except my sheets n my clothes,
my top was pulled up but still i was clothed.
ive noticed some bruises but still not sure,
if he hurt me like i was hurt before.

i have a funny feelin,
but i cnt explain,
all i cn say is i dnt feel the same.
his ment to b my stepbro here to protect,
who am i kiddin dis one ill forget.

im so scared im in dads room alone,
the door is locked n stepbro stonned.
my mind is racin dnt know wot to think.
his been avoidin me, n wont look at all,
so many things adds up to it all.

now i have to tell dad again,
i feel unsafe i need a pen.
to him i write my feelings down,
cos i cnt stand to see him frown.
im gettin a lock for my room today,
so i will b safe n he cn stay away.

i cnt say he hurt me,
as this i dnt know.
i stuffed up an knocked myself out,
i took two tablets to stop the pain,
and all its got me is feelin grey.
ill neva know wot happened that night,
but this i must keep out of sight.
for its makin me worry n stress some more,
and i dnt need it so theres the door.

neway ive said how im feelin, n just wanted to say. Mum (les) and aunty jen, if it wasnt for u guys i would have lost it by now, thanks for bein here for me and holdin my hand as such i love u guys so much, i dnt know wot i would have done without u both, i dnt even want to think about it..
as for jo,cate,tan,lynne an neone else i forgot fanks for also bein there to support me.
dee

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Comments from the community:

Hunni

This scares me to tears. I hope you are really okay/safe and nothing has happened.

Go Hunni!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 21. May 2008 12:25 PM

Baby.....

No need to thank me as its my pleasure, same with Jen.
As I told you this morn you have to tell Dad everything thats going on, cause if he dont know he cant help. I can only do so much from over here, but i do the best I can.

Remember, you have come a long way in a short time and will continue to do so, just remember to trust in the people who love you.

Till later,
Love Mummy xxxxxxxxxx

Written by lesleyk, 21. May 2008 02:21 PM

Hi,

Oh this is very distressing. I feel I must be frank. I doubt you were raped as you would have probably woken up and felt it...but for him to come in your room and touch you, or even simply lifting your shirt up, is unacceptable. Even that is serious and should not have happened. Whether he was stoned or not there is no excuse for his behaviour.

I am so sorry you had to experince this and I feel for you when you express your confusion, not knowing what is reality.

Good job on getting a lock, your safety is number one priority. No one deserves to feel unsafe in their own home, you deserve better babe.

I truely hope you have the support you need, remember there is a lot of help you can seek. Otherwise we are all here to listen and support you.

bluewave
xxoo

Written by bluewave, 21. May 2008 04:09 PM

Oh my goodness. I tend to agree with bluewave that you would have woken up if he actually raped you, but I can't imagine the terror of not knowing if he did anything to you and if he did what he did. Good on you for getting the lock, but you really do need to tell your dad what is going on. It is unacceptable that your stepbrother is putting you in this position of feeling so unsafe in your own home. I know it must be so hard to talk to your dad given what has happened, but you really need to - for your own peace of mind and probably for his too. xo

Written by babz, 21. May 2008 07:50 PM

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