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worst day of my life :'(

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Written by hunni 11. May 2008 06:35 AM

NEVA NEVA NEVA do i want yesterday to roll around again.. it was the worst day of my life...
i showed dad the writin i did of my past, and if u read my diary from yesterday u would have seen his reaction.
i thought the worst was over, lil did i know my BAD day had just started.
i started gettin bad pains in the tummy, but thought ild be ok, until i started bleedin. i called dad an told him i needed a hospital and y. i started feelin very disoringtated and could no longer move around or even hold my fone i had no energy left and could hardly keep my eyes open. lucky for me my deppie mum was available and she called me i was scared and didnt knoe if it was bad or not. dad rushed me to hospital where we found out i had hemroged (soz cnt spell) ive been givin tablets to take for the next 12days. the bleedin stopped and i felt ok so i was alloed home but with stricked intructions that i was to see my gp asap and if it happens again to get an ambulance.
i come home and felt lost, i sent dad back off to wrk as we need his income atm altho he didnt want to go i said ill call if i need him.
i had bad pains all night and despite takin strong pain killers but nothin worked...
just wen i thought things couldnt get any worse, i have lost my best friend of 20yrs she doesnt understand y i cnt go bak, she thinks my health is gettin worse and she is goin to loose me.i said i wouldnt go anywhere and i luved her n she ment the world to me and without her support in melb i would be dead... her reply to that was "ur already half way there" were not speakin and it has torn me apart i was the biggest mess and worked myself up sooooo much.. lucky for me my deppie auntie jen came to support me, she drove dwn and sat with me.
how much can one person take really??
thanks mum,auntie jen for being there wen i needed it.also thanks lynne,jo,cate and tan for also bein so kind and givin me there support.and thanks to everyone else on depnet.
all i can say is im glad this day is ova apart from meetin auntie jen of course.
but plz arghhhh someone take this pain away my tummy is killin me, i feel like my heart has been ripped out, wot else can possibly go wrong for me??
do i deserve it??
y wen im tryin soooo hard to keep it together does it all fall apart??
:(
luv dee
P.S hope everyone has a lovely mothers day

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Comments from the community:

Baby,
It was my pleasure to be there for you, yesterday and everyday. Things will get better for you body wise, just give it time.Your body went through some traumatic stuff yesterday, it will settle down.
As far as your best friend goes, well if thats how she feels shes better off gone.You don't need anyone else dragging you down. You need to stay positive and move forward like you have.
Whilst you can't erase what has happened to you in your life, you can move on and dull those memories, and aren't constantly hurt by them.
You are the absolute WINNER here Hun and your ex mum and best friend??? are the LOSERS.

Love ya Hunni.
Mum xxxxxxxxxxx

Written by lesleyk, 11. May 2008 10:11 AM

Dee,

Firstly, thank you for the Mothers Day wish.

You may think that this was the worst day of your life and it may always feel like that however it should also be remembered as the day that you had enough courage to take a huge step forward.

I am really proud of you for what you have accomplished in such a short time and you should be proud of yourself too.

As far as your best friend is concerned perhaps give her time to come to terms with the fact that her best friend has moved away and she is feeling the loss just like you are. Everyone handles grief in different ways and maybe pushing you away is her way of coping for the time being. Hang in there and I am sure you will be best buddies again before too long.

It was a pleasure to meet you last night and you are a very lovely lady. Try not to be so hard on yourself and remember to go easy on yourself. One step at a time hun and you will get there. I have the utmost confidence in you.

Love Auntie Jen xxx

Written by lifesucks, 11. May 2008 05:11 PM

Hunni

I am glad you had your dad and your depnet mum and aunty there to help you through the hospital ordeal. Do they know what caused the hemorraging?? Make sure to stick to the strict instructions and take care of yourself. Be strong and if it happens again, call that ambulance.

Go Hunni!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 11. May 2008 09:31 PM

PS Hunni

If your friend is going to be like that, they hun, you are much better off without her. Unless she can support you, she is not worth having as a friend and it is up to you if you want to try again and see if you can sort the issues/her thoughts out or cut the connection. Personally, I would cut the connection if someone said that to me - that is me miss super sensative.

Go Hunni!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 11. May 2008 09:37 PM

i love you baby....dad.xxx

Written by calmer, 12. May 2008 12:09 AM

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