dads reaction, my reaction
A page in the diary ""
Written by hunni 10. May 2008 04:54 PM
sleep,sleep,sleep
i just want some sleep,
i finally drift off,
but wake to a BEEB!!
its time to get up the day has come,
im feelin scared and want to run.
dad is up and waitin for me,
i look at his face while he drinks his tea.
we sit there in silence admirin the space,
but dad jumps up and starts to pace.
i cn see his waitin,waitin for me,
to come out an say wots happened to me.
i look in his eyes they look so sad,
i take his hand an say "plz dnt be mad"
we walk to the desk,so the past he can see,
i start to shake and fall to my knees.
dad gets up an accompanies me.
i ask him to go,go and read,
i sit outside and watch the trees.
i start to cry and look and see,
dad is cryin on his knees.
i look around "wot do i do?"
do i give him space or a hug or 2?
i take the risk n head for the door,
dad gets up and starts to roar.
feelin scared i see images of before.
i picture mums bashes 1,2,3,4.
i lay on the floor curled in a ball,
waitin to feel that pain once more.
i hear the door slam,
so i go and see,
dads taken off and just left me.
i start to tremble i need someone,
i look for my fone to call jen or mum.
i walk in the kitchen and a note i see,
the note is from dad n its adressed to me.
i read his note and its hurtin me,
it says his angry and doesnt want me to see.
he says he really does love me.
i sit here cryin and remember wot was said,
his not angry at me but the pedo instead.
i really need someone here with me,
this pain is too much as u can see.
i dnt want to ring someone who cares,
cos im sobbing n cnt speak the words.
dad gets a msg on his mobile from me,
sayin "dad im sorry plz dnt leave me".
i get a reply but im scared to see,
i look at the msg and it says to me.
"my lil kitten im not goin to leave,
im angry that ur mum neva told me,
im sorry i walked out on u.
im off to work ill b home soon,
and remember that i do love u."
im still cryin dont know wot to do,
ill give him his space and a drink or 2.
as for me ill sit here n weep,
til dad comes back and we can speak.