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cn i go on?

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Written by hunni 8. May 2008 03:12 AM

y does it seem as though things r gettin harder??
the last 24 hrs have distroyed me, i thought i was strong enough to handle it but the last 24hrs have just shown me im not strong at all.
i started writin out my life in detail like the doc said for my psych, i got as far as get thru was the sexual abuse, and that was a struggle, i felt like it was all happenin again and dont know how to handle it. i thought maybe if i had a sleep i would be ok as i had only had about 4 hrs sleep in the past 6 days, but i wasnt asleep very long before i had a nightmare of it.
i cnt deal with it, i thought by me writin it would help me cos ive told anyone the full story but instead its killin me.
i was sittin here in chat pretendin i was ok cos i didnt want ppl to think im always depressed, i couldnt take it anymore and broke dwn and left chat, while sittin at the computer cryin i had nothin but stupid thoughts go round and round my head.
can i really handle this or am i just kiddin myself?
i dont know how much more i can handle its gettin to much :'(
sorry
dee

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Comments from the community:



Dee,
You have nothing to be sorry for. You know what youve been through and none of us have had this happen to us. You have the strength to get through this Hunni. You deserve a better life than the hand that has been dealt you already.
We are here for you and as it showed in Dep last night, you dont have to be happy to be there. Youre very much loved. My offer with you for the weekend is still there so please think about it.
Love you Dee.
Lesleyxxx

Written by lesleyk, 8. May 2008 08:01 AM

Dee

Dragging all the memories back up is hard... and it hurts as much the 100th time as it did the first time... but gradually your skin gets tougher... trust me it does... the meds help too... with your psych you will be talking about this and so many other things... you may feel you don't know which way is up and really start questioning again if you can go on... hang in there Dee... writing about it allows you to hand the piece of paper to someone and let them read it... so you do not have to talk about it until you discuss your emotions... it is a thought Dee ... you have so many priorities... sleep is one ... eating is another... and then there is the abuse... baby steps and one at a time... it is ok to be in chat and feel down... sometimes it is easier when there are only a couple of people in there... otherwise it can get too busy... but that can be good too... as it can distract you from your thoughts... you will learn about distraction ... CBT and DBT are good therapies... take some time for healing physically first then psychologically...

that is my opinion .... you can use it or lose it... doesn't matter ... do what is good for you Dee...

take care

rgds
cate

Written by cateblack, 8. May 2008 04:20 PM

Hunni

You will get through telling your story over time. As has been said, the more you tell it, the harder and tougher you become until it seems like you are on robot when you are telling the story.

You are going through the first times and that is the hardest for people who have had bad experiences. Don't be scared to tell your story and don't be ashamed of crying - we all go through stages of this.

Baby steps hun, and hopefully things will improve for you.

Go Hunni!!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 8. May 2008 08:51 PM