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Hit rock bottom but bounced bak up

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Written by hunni 2. Jul 2008 04:40 PM

The last few days i have been down, but i have been hangin in there.
until last nite.. last nite i hit rock bottom it was all over so i thought. but i calmed down and im ok an still here.
for my consezuences of this i may have lost someone i deeply love in the mean time an it hurts.
had my psychologist this morning we spoke about last nite and wot happened, we also got dad to sit in on the session. he sat listenin to wot happened last night an my thoughts and feelings of it all.
he was upset but glad i made it through, i cried n cried and kept apoligizing for lettin him down.
i kept sayin i wasnt goin into hosp cos it would hurt dad but she asked how would dad feel to me gettin the help i need to how would dad feel if i had died.
dad said he would prefer me to get the help i need and to keep fightin it as the feelings dont last for ever.
for the next few nights i will be havin someone sit with me from the time dad goes to work til he comes home. if i can show im ok and prove i can handle it i will go bak to bein on my own. otherwise the next step will be admission to hosp.
well see how i go i realised now that hey its a feelin only wen somethin upsets me an it will pass it doesnt stay with u foreva where as death does.
last night was hard but i got through it, so i guess it shows me i can get through it all ive come this far im not goin to turn back..
thanks
take care
dee

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Comments from the community:

Dee

you are really progressing... it takes time and hard work... and you are doing that... glad you made the decision to stay here...

very positive diary...

take care

rgds
cate

Written by cateblack, 2. Jul 2008 04:46 PM

Hunni

Good on you for having your dad sit in with the psychologist. I hope he understood the session and how you are going with the depression.

You are making progress and the psychologist is doing a good job so make sure you keep seeing them and take dad to some of your sessions so he knows how you are going. Good luck with having someone with you at night. Hope you don't have to go to hospital but you know it can be the best option to get better.

Go Hunni!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 2. Jul 2008 04:51 PM

PS Hunni I am sorry last night was hard on you. Thank goodness you had your psychologist to talk to about it today.

Go Hunni!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 2. Jul 2008 04:52 PM

The significant thing is that you have resolved to move forward. That's a major step, in my humble opinion.

Written by TerryN, 2. Jul 2008 05:46 PM

Well done Dee... on all levels... and then some

Nick xx

Written by Alchemy, 2. Jul 2008 06:12 PM

Hey Dee,
You took help last night and that is a huge step. Glad to read that dad went with you to your session. He would want to know how low your were and ways of helping you.
Hang in there, there is help out there, and as u know, you just have to ask for it
Take care
Lynne

Written by chookie67, 2. Jul 2008 08:38 PM

In my therapy program, they are forever saying that feelings are just feelings and cannot hurt you. I've begun to realise the truth in their, and your, words.

Remember on msn how I was telling you that you were strong but you kept disagreeing. Dee, this is concrete proof that you are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. What you did yesterday/today is no easy feat!

I hope that the next few days things start to improve for you. xo

Written by babz, 2. Jul 2008 10:41 PM

Dee I dont know what happened the other night and I am sorry you feel so down.Can I ask you a question, if you were very sick an needed to be hospitalized for a medical condition would you go. This is what I dont understand why people fight to stay out of hospital.Is it the shame or some other reason.Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed off and to be in so much pain and confusion surely hospital would be a safer place to be.And no Im not having a go out you but I am concerned for your safety. Some times being in hospital can give you the time and space and support you really need. TC

Written by grannie, 3. Jul 2008 04:33 AM