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A page in the diary "Moving On"
Written by maple 13. May 2008 05:00 PM

Few days away were awful. I felt terrible but the first few days had a grip on my behaviour but not my thoughts or feelings. I felt none of the enjoyment I normally would expect and I did blow out badly on alcohol one evening, which is not overly unusual but has made me feel very bad. For most of the time away I could not even talk, every thing I thought to say sounded stupid and I was physically uncoordinated so did not participate in as many adventures, in short I was a boring pain in the arse despite my best efforts and doubt I will ever go away again. I felt like some sort of clown. As for my half relationship..I think it is down to about 10%, if that.
Pre-op tomorrow, takes all day, I want to run and hide, I am not managing at all and have no idea how to get through this surgery. I will talk with the social worker tomorrow, I think the only way is to stay in as long as possible though I always spin out in Hospital. I am very confused about S, he is a confusing person often, and while he is still expressing love to me I can't feel it as genuine and I am unsure if that is my depression or real. He also never stops moving and makes a lot of noise which was driving me batty as I am not so fast now and he usually moderates noise for me as I never can take it but he didn't this time. This morning packing up I was nearly ready to start screaming about the radio blaring at 7am..the pace was too fast, he asked I was and I told him I felt really rushed, it makes no difference, the car engine is started before you even have your act together..in short, I hated it, and I feel guilty for that as well. This coming week will be hell, getting ready for Hospital will be enough, I can't manage anything else, he never understands these things though and though he is a great peron I don't even think I can talk with him anymore, at all, about anything. It's a bad feeling and I really hope it passes as peace and harmony would be good, but someone to lean on would be much better.
Addit...panicking as have now read paperwork. I have interviews with surgical intern, anaesthetist, registered nurse, physiotherapist, speech pathologist, occupational therapist,counselling prior to surgery plus interview to arrange discharge care, ECG, Blood tests, Xrays....God help me.

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Comments from the community:

Hi,

I am so sorry this did not work out the way you wanted to and that you do not feel strong leading up to tomorrow.

You are so in my thoughts at this time.

Love
Liz
XXX

Written by keller, 13. May 2008 06:12 PM

You are a strong woman maple and you will get through the surgery, I'm sure of it. I'm sorry your R & R didn't go all that well, you were probably thinking more about the pending surgery (I know I would be).

Lucky you for blowing out on alcohol one night (I'm in AA) LOL.

Good luck with the pre-op and surgery.

All the best,

Fly xxx

Written by fly, 13. May 2008 06:37 PM

Maple

I would think your anxiety about going away, about the surgery, about the after op care would make anyone feel overwhelmed... no wonder you found it hard to find your voice... if it were me all I would want to talk about is how will i be cared for... please be gentle on yourself... after the op... then you will be able to go away again... in fact it would be good to have some time away once you are healed...

the half b/f is not a very sensitive person... nice as he is... I hope you do not lose the relationship for your sake...

You are an amazingly strong woman... my thoughts are with you for the pre-op tomorrow... I hope things go well for you... you are a wise woman and know well what to expect... you have done all you can to put in place the support networks you need to be cared for post op... the social worker will be able to organise St Lukes or Bluecare.. or some similar organisation...

Don't forget to give yourself a cheer for doing well... yay maple!!!

take care - will think of you... look forward to the post when you are home and up and about... and at the computer again...

rgds
cate

Written by cateblack, 13. May 2008 06:51 PM

Maple

I had tears after reading this.

Sorry the R and R didn't work out with the almost half.

One breakout with the alcohol is okay - bet it came from the anxiety of this weeks events - pre op, operation, hospital care, home care. Don't be embarrassed as we all do some silly things when we are stressed/under anxiety.

Wishing you lots of luck for the week.

Go Maple!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 13. May 2008 07:48 PM

Hello,

"Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with the mistaken belief that you cannot bear the pain.

But you have already borne the pain. What you have not done is feel all you are beyond that pain."

-- Kahlil Gibran --

...maple, I believe you are brave but just don't know it. I'm sorry you have been feeling so horrible but with time things can only improve!

bluewave
xxoo

Written by bluewave, 13. May 2008 09:38 PM

Hey,

good to see you're still here. Take care. I'm thinking of you.

Love,
Luise.

Written by Luise, 14. May 2008 02:33 AM