I want some attention
A page in the diary "Moving On"
Written by maple 1. May 2008 09:12 PM
Yes I have depression, and now I have severe depression, because I am essentially normal, and that means I do need some attention. Just a small amount, but I need some as opposed to absolutely none. Even TV shows are making me sick, all that Hospital crap, everyone but me has someone who cares about them. Even people fly from other countries for dead people, well I am still alive!!! It's pathetic I know, but it's my life and it's true. And no I don't deserve it, I am not a bad person, nor have I had depresssion forever either.
This is bloody crap I tell you! And I don't know if I'll get through, I don't know how to, except go into a Nursing Home for several weeks. At 47. Oh fabulous! I don't feel loved at all, my half b/f says oh well if you don't you don't....well I don't...hey, isn't that his job????? How would I feel loved? Leaving me alone in the freezing bloody cold and snow...no wood...again...just out from having surgery...how am I supposed to be okay???? I will be helpless for 8 weeks...in the freezing cold, plus 18 weeks Chemo..minimum...I mean honestly is it any wonder I am so depressed?