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I want some attention

A page in the diary "Moving On"
Written by maple 1. May 2008 09:12 PM

Yes I have depression, and now I have severe depression, because I am essentially normal, and that means I do need some attention. Just a small amount, but I need some as opposed to absolutely none. Even TV shows are making me sick, all that Hospital crap, everyone but me has someone who cares about them. Even people fly from other countries for dead people, well I am still alive!!! It's pathetic I know, but it's my life and it's true. And no I don't deserve it, I am not a bad person, nor have I had depresssion forever either.
This is bloody crap I tell you! And I don't know if I'll get through, I don't know how to, except go into a Nursing Home for several weeks. At 47. Oh fabulous! I don't feel loved at all, my half b/f says oh well if you don't you don't....well I don't...hey, isn't that his job????? How would I feel loved? Leaving me alone in the freezing bloody cold and snow...no wood...again...just out from having surgery...how am I supposed to be okay???? I will be helpless for 8 weeks...in the freezing cold, plus 18 weeks Chemo..minimum...I mean honestly is it any wonder I am so depressed?

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Comments from the community:

Hi Darl,
Just worked out who you are...my e-mail is on my profile...or just use the one that I e-mail you on with jokes. I will ring you after 7pm tomorrow night if you trust me with your phone number.
Maybe I can help you as a friend...I have the most shocking Flu Germ at the moment but it is nothing compared to what you are going through...no wonder you are depressed.
Love You Darl...I will help if I can.
Love Valerie x0x

Written by Deleted_User, 1. May 2008 09:48 PM

Maple

You are right we all need love and you are no exception. That so called b/f of yours needs a good shaking into reality. How can he leave you when it is freezing/snowing and with no fire wood. This so called b/f needs the flick for your sanity. Perhaps you could get a pet to care for - if you are up to it/able to do that.

Go Maple!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 1. May 2008 09:49 PM

No I don't want a pet! I am supposed to remake a life/sexlife myself assuming I have a life at all, with a stranger at some mysterious point in the future because the man I know just is not there because now I don't smile every bloody goddamn day. And I'll be bald! He has my camera, but has not even taken photos of me with my hair!!!! For Christs sake as a pet I'd do better for my self, I have actually said to him leaving me alone for weeks/months is worse than animal cruelty, but he just says it is my fault. It's all my fault..I can't realy see how....he called me crazy today..after not being around for a fortnight..crazy thing is anyone ever who called me that I went for in the past.

Written by maple, 1. May 2008 10:08 PM

yeh, to me you are such a lier...sound familier?

Written by Deleted_User, 1. May 2008 10:49 PM

I'm not that is the difference.

Written by maple, 1. May 2008 11:38 PM

Jo,
Please come back to chat...Please don't do anything!!

Jo-bee xoox

Written by JoanneC84, 1. May 2008 11:54 PM

You Mick are psychotic. I don't care I have said it again cause I am out of here. Get yourself help. It isn't depression which you have, it is psychosis. Different thing entirely which is why you removed your bullshit entry. Bye.

Written by maple, 1. May 2008 11:55 PM

Jo,
You were the first person I ever chatted in depchat with 2yrs ago and you have been there to support me through my mental illness and physical illness..so now,please let me help you...
I've told you before and I'll tell you again,I will come and be with you at the hospital,its not that far away..
Please don't do anything silly...I couldn't cope with that...I'm sorry but its true..

Please Jo....I'm begging you!

Your Jo-bee oxox

Written by JoanneC84, 2. May 2008 12:00 AM

No offense but your half-boyfriend seems to be a bit of an arsehole. I've had some dud boyfriends in the past but at least they cared, came to see me, didn't call me crazy, didn't ignore me for months on end, called me, etc.

Seriously Jo, you are a damn good person and you don't need men like that dragging you down all the time like it seems that he does. I (and all your friends no doubt) would be happy seeing you with someone that makes you happy and brings you up instead of bringing you down. I know you say that you aren't the most social person at the moment but nobody needs someone who just pops in now and again and makes you feel worse.

-- KazzaX

PS: Sorry if this sounds a bit judgemental but its the recurring thought I get in my head when I read what you write about your boyfriend. Just delete this if its offensive.. I just felt it had to be said.

Written by KazzaX, 2. May 2008 01:30 PM

I am not sure who is who on DepNet any more...Jo...is this YOU adding these diary entries on here... or is someone impersonating you in a nasty way?
I am worried by these entries...I would like to try and help ok?
Nanna Val

Written by Deleted_User, 3. May 2008 12:56 AM

Thanks for the support from those who have tried..

Written by maple, 3. May 2008 09:26 AM