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Let she/he who is without fault

A page in the diary "surprise surprise"
Written by g463 29. May 2008 08:16 PM

cast the first stone.

Honestly, who among us has not self-harmed? Who has not knowingly eaten an extra Tim-Tam, or avoided doing what we know is good for us, or simply isolated ourselves to avoid and/or express the pain in whatever way we know how? It's still self-harm when it all comes down.

So I eat Tim-Tams, and others slash-up. Big deal. It's only by being real about ourselves (and for the sake of all that's holy, be real!) that we find common ground, community and the strength and encouragement to effect change in our lives.

That's pretty much all I hope for on Depnet - just a bit of community, a whole lot of authenticity, and a place where I can express myself safely in a way that keeps it safe for others too. It's the respectful thing to do, hey.

And you know what? I believe labels - diagnoses don't really help anyone. So I have depression and anxiety due to PTSD...knowing that doesn't change the help I ask for or recieve. Knowing its name makes no difference. When we actively say 'I have [name of] disorder' we're owning it in a way that makes it own us.

I used to tell people I was just "off my cracker" and it wasn't until I listened to myself say that one day, that I realised that I'd labelled myself too - and the truth is, I'm not "off my cracker" at all. It was just a convenient excuse for the state I was in. I was letting myself off the hook - not taking responsibility. As soon as I made the deliberate effort to NOT say negative things about myself, the more quickly I began to pull it all together...

And I've got some way to go yet.

Love each other guys. Your love and understanding may be the only link to other humans that 'get' what's it's like, that some of have access to. When everyone's getting angsty, nobody could possibly take encouragement from it...and that's not a community I wanna be part of.

Cheers,
g463

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Comments from the community:

Truer words have never been spoken. When it comes to it we've all self harmed in our war against ourselves.

I want to be part of a supportive and caring community who understand and accept how I'm feeling on any given day.

Thank you g463,

Luv Karen xxx

Written by fly, 29. May 2008 08:42 PM

Yep been there done that, did the drink, the drugs, then the pills and booze so i couldnt feel anymore pain........ Self harm was NOT what the ER called it was "attention seeking"

And YES we all want to live with understanding and acceptance thats all we want and YES learn to love thyself again that is the first and most important step.

Great diary entry

Written by aljay, 29. May 2008 09:35 PM

im with you and really understand what you are saying.its is true though label something and it does stick.Thankyou for your honesty and intelligence take care for now
rubee x

Written by rubee, 29. May 2008 10:21 PM

G

What a great diary entry and I thank you for it because I have done a few of the things you have said - harmed, eaten all the tim tams but I want support from depnet, not criticism just because I mention harming. Why is it good for one and not for the others???

Great words and well said.

Thanks.

Go G!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 29. May 2008 10:32 PM

Yeah... great post...
Cept where u compare eating Tim Tams 2 "slashing up".......
Think how th poor person sitting in ED gettin stitches, or th person in th nxt cubicle gettin their stomach pumped, would feel readin that.
Almost worse than glorifying s/h.

Written by Gyps, 29. May 2008 10:55 PM

g463

i liked your 'crackers' comment... my pdoc and mental health nurse say i have embraced my diagnosis... i am depression... i am borderline personality ... i am anxiety.. so blame me for the way you feel because it is me...

As for self harm... yes we all do indulge in that... sometimes that tim tam is just too tempting...

Well that is all i want to say

take care

rgds
cate

Written by cateblack, 29. May 2008 10:56 PM

G463

I am new here and I don't know what the problem is but I agree with you - no one is perfect and we all make mistakes and those that are holier than thou should revisit themselves to see how they are doing with the etiquette. I want a supportive group, not one that is hurting a person.

Ronda

Written by Deleted_User, 29. May 2008 11:27 PM

Hey Gyps, I'm not wanting to enter further into a debate about what constitutes self harm, and I'm not going to prescribe what we all should be talking about, but methinks you're a bit sensitive about the whole issue.

You cant possibly know whether the Tim Tam is equivalent for me to a bunch of stitches...and as for the terminology I used that you may have found offensive, please know that I work in the social work realm and its in common usage among community sector workers across a number of disciplines.

When the dust settles on it, ordinary people are going to call whatever it is for whatever it is...including those who "slash-up". There's little point using euphemisms to cotton-wool the truth so that we can all avoid facing the reality of it.

It's in facing the truth bravely, that we start the process of healing. Nothing more, and nothing less.

Acknowledging it isn't glorifying it. Bragging about it surely is.

Written by g463, 30. May 2008 12:02 AM

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