About life and death
A page in the diary "surprise surprise"
Written by g463 17. Apr 2008 08:38 PM
While I'm aware that in life there is heaps of 'grey' - not as in depression per se, but in terms of compromise, or half-way, or in the the various shades of things, that's not quite what I meant when I said that I am motivated by putting the things of life into the "Life" basket or the "Death" basket.
The Life basket is a series of decisions that I make that enhance my life - bring life to my life!
The Death basket isn't about actual death, but more about 'does my decision to do something take away from my life?'
So while the decision to eat another Mars Bar might fall into either category depending on the reason why I'm eating it (Life if its for healthy pleasure, energy etc; Death if what's motivating me to eat it is self-harm, self-hate, comfort eating or whatever) there's no real 'grey' there - it's one or the other. Any 'Life' reason is a good reason, and therefore any 'Death' reason is not a good reason. One way or another, my decision to eat it either leads to more of life, or more of death.
And I guess that's what I was intending when I referred to it elsewhere on Depnet.
If I choose to blob on my sofa watching TV, it might be a 'life' decision if I need to relax and unwind. If I did that all day every day perhaps it's doing little to nothing to enhancing my life and therefore leads to 'death' - death of my potential, death of relationships with others, death of dreams...
Life itself is far from black and white, and to think that it is, is a mistake. The issue here is both simple and complex at the same time in that there's nothing between life and death - no middle ground. The decisions I make fall one way or another...and yet it's not black and white at all. The grey, I suppose is in eating the Mars Bar and knowing that today because I burned a lot of energy it's okay...but that a second one would be sabotaging the 'life' and inviting 'death' into the picture.
Hope this makes more sense now.
Cheers!