Ch-ch-ch-changes
A page in the diary "surprise surprise"
Written by g463 23. Jul 2008 08:41 PM
I had a great weekend last weekend. I saw Mama Mia at the movies, and I'd seen it on stage as well, and I appreciate both versions...and didn't Pierce Brosnan let the acting team down??
I also had a great day out on Sunday with some fantastic food and wine at a vineyard.
I guess to explain a little, I'd been to see my psychologist earlier in the week. She told me that she'd like to pass me onto another psych as some of my issues (mostly involving sexual abuse) are deep, pervasive and outside of her skill set. I was okay with that, and felt we'd pretty much reached the end of the line anyway. I'm so much better than I was a year ago.
So I took a couple of days to think it over, recognise my progress, and consider whether I wanted her to find me another psych for those specific issues. Of course, I don't want to delve into that stuff, but as much of it has me stuck in the past, being affected by the past and so on, I decided that it's probably not a bad time to get into it (and hopefully get over it!).
On the weekend, I decided that this is my time to value every good thing, to take on life with a positive attitude and a bit of fire in the belly. When it all comes down, the kind words and sage advice of many is really true: You wanna be loved, you have to love yourself. You wanna be happy, start behaving happy. You want to get some change happening in your life? Put on the attitude of gratitude. As my grandma used to say "count your blessings".
Simple, really.
So I went to work on Monday, re-focused, optimistic and with the feeling that I can take on every difficulty because I am blessed with the capacity to be able to cope. There were a few major setbacks - one that made me feel like chucking it all in and walking out forever, but then I decided that doing that didn't fit with my plan for loving myself, for being happy, and for acknowledging my innate capacity to take things in my stride. So I stuck it out!
Tomorrow's Thursday - the first three days of this week have been great, simply because I chose to be happy, to be positive, to love myself. Tomorrow I lead training - have to be motivated, good natured, and above all lead others - - - and I'm in a great space to do that!
I'm going back to see my psych in a week - to discuss referring me onto someone else.. It's all for the best really and I think that I'm ready to face that stuff for the first time in my life.
To those of you who read this, be encouraged to put on that attitude of gratitude too - be grateful for what you have, no matter how small. Take some small amount of time to love yourself. Choose to find happiness somewhere in the middle of your personal shit. You'll be surprised what a difference it makes.
Take care, folks.
G