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Crankypants concedes

A page in the diary "surprise surprise"
Written by g463 6. Jul 2008 06:53 PM

I'd decided that after 12 months on Zoloft, that I really was over it, mostly felt better and that there was nothing too unmanageable about my life anymore. I was off meds for about four weeks in total - enough to know that in many respects I'm going to be okay, but that there are still some things awry.

Worst of all was how irritable I became. I grouched around at work, grouched around at home, grouched at LOL's in the supermarket, grouched in the traffic...I was one god-awful crankypants.

I did my best to chill. I got into the breathing and calming soothing things. Bought some Zen meditation balls, meditated. Exercised away my grouchiness only to see it return the minute I left the gym. All in all, I was just a cast iron bitch!

And then I realised that I didn't have to be that way. Yes, being cranky is a choice, but being constantly irritable is yet another face of depression.

So...I gave in, and decided to start on Zoloft again. 50mg seems to have taken the edge off my irritability. Will bump it up to 100mg in the next week or so.

I don't want to be on this junk forever though, but I guess for now, everyone around me is probably feeling relieved (and wondering what the hell the problem was!)

:)

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Comments from the community:

G

I think you have made the right decision to go back on meds - even to stop the crankyness. Hope it works for you and you won't be on it too long.

Go G!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 6. Jul 2008 06:56 PM

Good on you for recognising that the pills are useful for something- better than the alternative. I've found I still need the pills, even though it would be "nicer" in some undiscovered world, to not take them. It's getting on with a normal life that's important- not debating whether something should go in your mouth! Have a bit of fun, let your hair down and feel free again! It's great to not have to THINK about how you feel- just feel and do!

Written by Templdust, 6. Jul 2008 07:05 PM

Ah the eternal battle with zoloft - have been on it and off it a number of times over the past 11 years - and now despite being on it at the lowest point for many years - have increased the dosage and will wait and see if that helps.
I recal talking to my doctor a long time ago and him saying that if it works then there is no reason why you cant stay on it forever. The only thing is that it makes me feel a little brain dead.........I guess that is better than the alternatives
So good luck and it is great that you are taking the time to listen to yourself and observe the changes - good luck with it - Sue

Written by sue_wool, 6. Jul 2008 08:17 PM

Sometimes you have to stay on meds to prevent a recurrence of dep. You should ask your advisor/s. I expect, barring a miracle, to be on meds for the rest of my life.

Written by TerryN, 6. Jul 2008 09:52 PM

Thanks for the encouragement, you guys!

Are people *really* on Zoloft for a lifetime? I wonder what long term side effects are?

Written by g463, 6. Jul 2008 10:25 PM

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