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Proud of myself... update!

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Written by fly 24. May 2008 12:05 PM

Hi All,

Well I cracked, I had alcohol last night for the first time in 8 weeks. My hubby bought me a bottle of scotch (my favourite) and a 6 pack for himself.

Ok, now I'd like to clear a couple of things up. First of all, my hubby and I sat down and discussed the issue of alcohol in my life at length for a number of days before the weekend arrived. In the end I was very appreciative of the fact that he offered to buy me a bottle because it showed to me that he had faith in me, faith that I had earned.

I did not let him down. I drank sensibily (3 in total) and have not had a drop since, even though it's sitting in the kitchen.

I cannot stress enough that I will not go back to the way it used to be. I want to be able to let my hair down once on a weekend. That is my boundary and I will not step even half a toe over that boundary, I have too much to lose.

All I want is to feel unconstrained in my new found happiness. If having 3 drinks on a friday night helps me to feel like a normal person then I will continue to do so. This is compared to a bottle of scotch a night for the last 3 years. I enjoyed myself last night, it was even amusing to me that it tasted like crap, so I have not partaken tonight because I didn't even like the taste of it after 2 months. I had 3 to see if it would taste any better, but it didn't, so maybe I'll never drink the stuff again, but I just had to find out for myself.

Thank you all for your comments and conerns, I appreciate all of your entries as I try to work my way through this maze.

What I'm trying to say is please have some faith in me, because I point blank refuse to go back to where I was before. Friday will not become Thursday, etc. etc. I have come through too much, worked my way through too much shit and have come too far to ever take a step backwards.

All I'm aiming for is a normal life "in moderation".

Please have faith.

Luv Karen xxx
Have a good weekend,

Luv Karen xxx

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Comments from the community:

Karen

you sound in control... every week is also an issue... so mix it around... some weekends yes... some weekends no...

You have done well..

take care

rgds
cate

Written by cateblack, 24. May 2008 12:54 PM

Hi Karen,
I don't know the full circumstances of this, but I think it was really rude of your hubby to buy you alcohol when you're trying so hard to give it up. Though there may be facts I'm not aware of. Anyway, good on you for drinking sensibly, although I have to agree with Cate that I think every weekend is a problem... It makes it easier to say 'well, today is Thursday, that's nearly a weekend' and so on. I also think that if you drink every weekend, then there will usually always be alcohol in the house and you're more likely to crack and go back to your old ways. Of course, that is just my opinion, but I really hope that you don't go back to the way it was before.
xoxo

Written by babz, 24. May 2008 03:10 PM

Hi Karen,

I dont know what to say and I am confused about what I think.

You sound very assured and detirmined and this fills me with a healthy optomism that you can manage this problem behaviour.

However in my guts it seems wrong in the sense that it is a step back down to temptation for you and as Babz says soon its just the weekend then its Thursday because of this and that and soon enough it is back to being something you dont want it to be.

So all I can say is head all the advice you are given and act in your own best interests. If alcohol is to be part of your life then best you manage it like the devil it can be (says she who shared a bottle of red with hubby last night).

Set limits and really set them, only maybe every other weekend. Make up a points sytem like I can have 5 points this week ie each drink on the weekend (F,s, s) is worth a point and anything during the week is 5 points so one drink and its over)

I dont know just some thoughts

I think you appreciate how hard I have found your honesty and I admire that...its like i feel i have an obligation to comment, to right past wrongs but I know you will do what you need to do.

Take it easy and whilst I am sorry you have stepped back into alcohol, I am impressed at your restraint.

Finally if you dont want me to comment then I wont, and I wont take it personally.

Good luck

LIz
XXX

Written by keller, 24. May 2008 03:52 PM

Thanks for letting ne know its OK Karen, the last thing I would want to do is upset you as we travel all these difficult times.

I appreciate your note back indeed.

Hvae a great evening, my 10 year old is having a couple of friends sleep over so it should be a busy night here.

Take care

Liz
XXX

Written by keller, 24. May 2008 04:44 PM

Hey Karen,

I am also impressed at your restraint and wish i had the strength to show some myself, but i feel a little like Liz i think and want you to tread very very carefully so as to not end up in the same trap as before. You know how hard it was to give up, and i hope you remember those first few days.

I am angry at myself for now probably having to go through it all again, but that is my life right now and i will deal with it the best i can.

I am really pleased that you are so confident in dealing with this Karen, and you have my full support if you need someone to chat to at any time, but really, i am probably not the best person for you to keep in contact with right now, considering how much restraint i have had lately.

Take care Karen, and it was nice chatting with you last night, finally!!!

Luv Nouse

Written by Nouse, 24. May 2008 05:59 PM

Fly

I am a little confused in what to write. It is good you were able to control your drinking and do things you never did before, but I still think it is not the good thing hubby can do when you are trying to stop. As I said I am confused and hope you know what you are doing so you don't end up back where you were 8 weeks ago. Please rethink your actions and continue on your good plan of not drinking.

Go Fly!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 24. May 2008 07:30 PM

Fly

Hopefully you will read a nice diary tomorrow as we are supposed to be going out to celebrate a friends birthday and her and her hubby's 19th wedding anniversary so it will be my chance to get out with hubby and catch up with friends.

Still trying to work out what to do with other friends - told Sunday nights now not suitable for us to catch up and hubby won't give up his night shifts so we are in limbo so to speak.

Go Fly!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 24. May 2008 10:31 PM

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