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Written by fly 19. Jul 2008 11:54 PM

Hi all,

Hope you're all travelling OK.

Had a phone call from my @rsehole brother on Thursday... (brother of inflicted CSA). Don't talk often these days (1st time in 12 months) and feeling better off for it, but he rang me on Thursday about our father's 75th birthday.

He's come up with the brilliant plan of buying my father a new plasma TV for $1200. My nice brother can only afford to put in $200... as can we, so my @rsehole brother will be $800 out of pocket. He replied that he's OK with that, he's not in it to brag to Mum & Dad that he paid the most money toward the new TV.. but I think he's trying to buy back my parent's affection after a rather ugly family meeting last year that was called by my psychiatrist and where my parents found out a lot more nitty gritty ugly details about my @rsehole brother's sexual abuse of myself.

And according to @rsehole brother his wife is not happy with "them" being $800 out of pocket, but my @rsehole brother said "bad luck, I've made up my mind".

So now I think my @rsehole brother is just trying to buy back my parent's affection. He's desperate to make ammends since my parents' heard my stories of the abuse he inflicted upon me. After they heard that I don't think they could ever really "love" him wholeheartedly again. And we (my nice brother and I) are still being made to "pay" for my @rsehole brother's attempt at buying back his parents' love.

I'd love to tell him to just stick it up his @rse and be big enough to say that our father wouldn't want anything so extravagant, especially when he know's that it will bring hardhsip upon my nice brother and myself.

Unfortunately karma hasn't come around to greet my @rsehole brother as yet... his wife earns in excess of $100K and he earns in excess of $60K and they're living on easy street. And don't get me started about his wife... she's just a living, breathing oxymoron... she's warm blooded as human being are, yet so cold hearted she must surely be reptilian!

One can only cling to the hope that karma will eventually come around to this pair of @rseholes and they will, infact have their day....

In the meantime, maybe I'll ring my nice brother and talk him into backing out of the plasma TV arrangement and getting something more realistic and of more significant value to our father.

So confusing.... I just hate the fact that my @rsehole brother continues to try to buy his way back into our parents favour. Pathetic really and I would soooo like to beat him at his own game. Cause as sure as hell I can't actually give him a good physical beating, as much as I'd love to..... I'll have to work on that.

Take care everyone and thank you for reading my entry....

Karen xxx

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Comments from the community:

Hmmm 75th hey? Tell A'hole u think sumthin more personal would b far more appropriate.
Why dont u get a copy of Dad's marriage certificate & superimpose it ova his wedding photo?
That'd mean far more to him. But dont tell A'hole or he'll try to outdo u

Written by Gyps, 20. Jul 2008 12:10 AM

On second thoughts, that'd be more for an anniversary...
A family portrait of your family?
Black & white can look absolutely stunning.

Written by Gyps, 20. Jul 2008 12:12 AM

I agree, do something more meaningful. It isn't about the $$s that are spent, but the thought behind it, and I doubt a plasma has much emotional significance to your dad - especially if it will put you and your other brother in a difficult financial situation. Take care xo

Written by babz, 20. Jul 2008 12:16 AM

Fly
This hardly ever goes down well in families, not just yours. Me, I would just throw in what I could afford and leave it at that, or not, but I only ever refuse if I have already got something really special planned of my own. It's always irritating though, as it's controlling. It's only a tele...there is not a lot you can give a 75 year old, it will be the talk of the day and beyond so I would participate. Your Parents know you better than anyone, will know who instigated it, who paid what, how you feel about it, and will simply appreciate peace on the day, as well as the tele. It is not a bad thing that your Brother tries to make amends, it's a good thing.
My point...no matter the circumstances, this would be somewhat irritating. Not everything has to be about the abuse.

Written by maple, 20. Jul 2008 08:12 AM

Hi Karen

Well, I'm a 72 year old father and grandfather who can speak only for myself and certainly not for a 75 (nearly) year old I don't know. (And I won't reach 75 years.) What I would most like for my next birthday, which I should get to, is to be with my children and grandchildren, sitting around the dinner table, with a meal we have all had a part in preparing, and talking, laughing, perhaps crying, about our life's journeys, and what we would hope for tomorrow. Now I tell my family I don't need gifts - their love and care is more than enough, but I know there will be a book, or a CD of my favourite music, nicely wrapped. I'd be embarrassed at a super-sized gift. And the very best gift would be to take a tired and cranky Princess Marni on my knee to read her favourite bed-time book and as she falls asleep after an exciting day, gently tuck her into her bed. The point of this is that big isn't necessarily better.

Peter

Written by surfer, 20. Jul 2008 11:31 AM

Fly,
Thanks so much for your reply to my diary entry. I really appreciate constructive comments like yours.
Willow

Written by Deleted_User, 21. Jul 2008 11:45 PM

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