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Hey Karen,

I have been away for the weekend and have come home to you feeling so bad. Remember, i did this to myself not so long ago and i felt exactly the same as you do now.

I'm not sure what i can say to make you feel any better except don't bash yourself around the head about it, i bet you head feels bad enough.

I'm sure when you get to see your psychologist, she will sit you down and try to find out what the hell went so wrong, but she will forgive you, i know she will.

Take it easy on yourself Karen, you have lots of friends here to help if you need.

Luv ya heaps,

Nouse

Written by Nouse, 10. Jun 2008 09:55 PM

Fly

Nouse is right you know. The psychologist will carry on as normal and ask you what happened to cause this slip up. Don't be so hard on yourself - one slip up in 8 weeks is not going back to hitting the booze hard. Remember perhaps the mobile phone if it happens again is not a good idea.

Thanks for your nice comment in my diary tonight.

Be strong and take care. Look forward to reading your diaries/catching up with them later.

Go Fly!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 10. Jun 2008 10:27 PM

It's ok, you won't lose her.

Written by maple, 10. Jun 2008 10:42 PM

Hi Karen,

I am not surprised you are still feeling bad about the weekend, for you it was a let down. A let down of your efforts and you annoyed with yourself. The fact that you involved you psych whilst not being a great idea perhaps has given her insight into how it is for you. Your were probably disinhibbited and said more than you might have said. Just a theory.

Remember your psych is a professional so I am sure she will leave you and will continue to offer care. She may talk about boundaries however next time you meet so prepare for that one.

Karen you need to forgive yourself, find it in you to acknowledge what happened, in all its ghastliness, think about the triggers to this behavior, who were you with, what was the situation, did you make a conscious decision to drink?

And when you have done all this....please forgive yourself. You deserve to be forgiven. We all make mistakes, error in judgment, decisions in the heat of the moment, what ever please forgive yourself.

I am so sorry you are in emotional pain, as for the cutting..I have never understood this sort of action and don’t know much about it, I suspect I can’t say please stop because it must be very complicated and tied up with many emotions and challenges. All I can say is don’t hurt yourself, I care for you,


Take good care of your self

Thinking of you


Liz

Written by keller, 11. Jun 2008 11:31 AM

Hi there,

I'm sorry you had to turn to the bottle for comfort...which didn't really end up comforting you.

But I what I can say is that unlike friends your psychologist would have already forgiven you. She is human and it's good you felt her frustration because it means you are aware of how your behaviour affects others.

However this is just one step back, the fact you know drinking made you worse is a great thing to realize. Tommorow is a new and different day, one step back, two step forwards.

Don't be too hard on yourslef, we stuff up sometimes. I too have lost friends due to a drunken night where I threaten to self harm. However over time my friends have forgiven and accepted my plight.

We gotta fight on, one day at a time.

Bluewave
xxoo

Written by bluewave, 11. Jun 2008 05:07 PM

Karen, thanks for your reply to my diary entry. All I feel I can offer in return is the hope that things go well for you. Sounds like you're being pretty hard on yourself; almost punishing yourself. That's a little like me but it's so easy to spot when it's someone else. It's one thing for me to say be kind to yourself, build up self-worth and self-respect etc, but quite another thing to do it. That's the hard part. Just hope things improve for you.

Written by Deleted_User, 11. Jun 2008 11:29 PM