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A month ago... What I learnt

A page in the diary "poo"
Written by wild_rose 23. Mar 2008 08:11 PM

*** WARNING this entry may contain some graphic references... If sensitive I advise you not to read this entry....

About a month ago as people will know I had to let my 2 last cats go, I consequently changed my username from jessmeow as a result of this...

The events that followed as a result of this I have told anyone...

I had taken my second cat to the pound, she was my baby, I loved her so much, and I WILL NEVER forgot the look in her eyes as I left her there, she had a pained expression in her eyes, she knew I was leaving her... That night I came home and drank a lot vodka... I would say close to a bottle... I got even more depressed, and I then I got suicidal again, and attempted to slash my wrists again. Thankfully the knife was blunt and hardly made a mark, and by the time I had thought to get something sharper, I was incapable of walking and passed out on the couch...

The next morning I went up to visit my mum who lives 4 hours away. I went there for almost a week, that week made me understand myself more than I ever have. It explained a lot of my hatred towards my father and made me realise my hatred towards him is justified...

I was merely hours hold, and he walked in and said to my mother "It's another bitch, I told you I didn't want another bitch, that I wanted a boy" soon after my parents divorced.

When I was around 6 there was a custody battle, most people know of the physical abuse I suffered I wrote about in my other profile, but never did I mention the fact that there was suspected sexual abuse, it makes me feel sick even writing that, my own father, fortunately I can't remember it, but I read though my sisters statements from that period (my mother kept everything in regards to the custody battle, I'm thankful that she did) what I read was disgusting, he never molested us, but the things we were made to watch, well YUCK!!!

Anyway my mother showed me journals which she kept for those few years, and I read them, it explained a lot as to why I have no backbone and let people walk all over me, because my own father threatened me with violence if I voiced my dislike with something... ITS HIS FAULT, It's all his fault I let people walk all over me, because I am so damned petrified of there being 'trouble'.

When I was 8 and my mother had won custody I told him I never wanted to see him again and for years 10 years actually, I hardly heard from him, he came to me when I was 18 and tried to explain it was my mothers fault I didn't see him, because they didn't get along, he also tried to convince me that my mother had turned me against him, i know that is bull shit. For 10 years he never called on my birthdays or anything. And he expected me to forget it ha FAT CHANCE....

My anger is justified, I DO remember the physical abuse, I will never forget it nor will I ever forget the fact my own father never contacted me for 10 years and the fact that even now at 25 he never calls to say that he loves me or just to chat, he expects me to call him... Well I can't I just can't. For the past 17 years I've never really known my father. He was never there.

Anyhow on a lighter note, my last cat, my little kitten, my little boy, he is gone too, but to my mums, until we find another place, then we can have him back. SO thats good he isn't completely gone.

Also I'm settling in at the bfs mum's place well, things are definately different to what I had anticipated, but in a good way. So thats good.

I think I will leave it here, I think I have blabbed enough in this entry, wouldn't surprise me if no-one made it this far

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Comments from the community:

wild rose

made it all the way to the end... it has been rough for you and getting to know about your relationship with your father has made some resolution with you

My heart goes out to you at the loss of your cat to the pound... it really distresses me to think you have not been able to keep her... I am glad you are able to keep the kitten... My Gus is the light of my life ... i can't imagine being without him... and i still cry at the death of my other cats... anyway... i know how hard that must have been ...

I am glad you have been able to handle the information you were given ... it is not easy...

you have done well ..

take care

rgds
cate

Written by cateblack, 23. Mar 2008 09:47 PM

Jess

((((jess)))) you have been through so much, i am so sorry.
It brought a tear to my eye reading about your cat, you sound like me, a animal lover. I am sorry for your loss.

Take care

Mikey xxx

Written by Mikey, 23. Mar 2008 10:46 PM

hey beautiful
amazing post that, you and me share a similar background actually, cept my mother initially divorced ................. either while she was pregnant with me or I was just born. She remarried when I was 7 to the man from hell, who I was terrified of by the time I was 8, who was physically and emotionally violent and abusive, who has a "thing for young developing bodies"..... dont I know that one well.....

They divorced when I was 16, saw minimal of him til I was 18, then only if he picked up or dropped off my younger brother and sister (his kids)... the last time I saw him was Ash's first Christmas... she wasnt even a year old and she's now 11...

I want nothing to do with him nor will I allow him anything to do with my daughter as he fucked up my life enough, I refuse to allow him to fuck up my daughters as well! None of us 4 have anything to do with him...

Glad u found some resolution in this department, work thru it with your psych and it will help u to get closure

Ditto on the cat score, cats are sooo awesome and it tore me apart to have to take my two beloved cats to the pound when I moved into transitional housing but I simply couldnt cope with them and a dog.

Bandit went to a friends place for 6 weeks but my poor cats... Ash still cries for them now 12 months later, God Gyps (yes that was my cats name!) was the bestest cat and Smokey was sooo damn gorgeous... we got him from the pound at 7mnths and he was 1 of 27 cats - they had been allowed to breed wildly. But he was a Ragamuffin, which is like a Ragdoll but in any color!

The first night I got him I pulled him up onto the bed and tucked him into my arms under the covers and rubbed his head... when I stopped he stretched out a paw and put it on my face so I started rubbing his head again.... when I stopped he stretched out his other paw and put it on my face so I started rubbing him yet again..... and thats how he slept ALL NIGHT... in my arms under the covers with both paws stretched out and resting on my face!!!

God I loved my cats.....

Written by Gyps, 24. Mar 2008 02:43 AM