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It won't matter

A page in the diary "I hate myself"
Written by Nouse 6. May 2008 04:32 PM


Thank you everyone for your comments on my previous diary.

It will make a huge problem in my family, if this gets out and my Mum wont believe me anyway. The person who is threatening to kill me is a favourite to my Mum and she would never hear of anything bad being said of him.

I am safe in my home, i think, if i can make sure he cant get in, and my Mum is also safe in her home, in fact she is safe wherever she is. He doesn't have a problem with her, and doesn't have one with me, if i keep quiet.

My hubby gets home on Thursday, but he doesn't know my history with the abuse from this person, so i don't know what to do, i will just have to keep quiet.

I am seeing my psychiatrist on Thursday also, and he is the only person who knows the full details. He is also the person who thought it a good idea if i told my family, except he didn't want me to do it on my own, he thought it should be done under controlled circumstances. I thought this would aggravate the situation more and told him i would do it on my own.
Now i can see why he wanted to do it that way, but i don't think even he would have envisaged it turning out like this.

I have kept this inside for 30 years, it may now be something i take to my grave. I can't warrant losing my Mum over this, that would kill me anyway.

Nouse



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Comments from the community:

Nouse

You did what your psychiatrist suggested which is a good thing and things blew up unexpectedly.

Make sure you are safe and do think about talking to hubby about the safety issue - not what happened to you unless you feel you are able to tell hubby/have confidence in his reaction/support for you. Make sure mum is safe - you say she is but please make sure - I am sure you don't want anything to happen to her by this idiot.

Be strong and brave!!!

Go Nouse!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 6. May 2008 04:37 PM

PS Nouse

Make an appointment to see if you can see your psychiatrist this week - tell the receptionist it is am emergency/life threatening and tell the psych what happened and get some advise as to what to do next.

Go Nouse!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 6. May 2008 04:38 PM

Hi Nouse,

It sounds very much like we are/have been in the same boat my friend. My psychiatrist suggested a controlled "gathering" whilst I was an inpatient in the Adelaide Clinic and it all went well. My Mum & Dad and the abuser were all there and the abuser actually went into victim mode and said he couldn't help it and that he was just experimenting! What a load of rubbish. Anyway, what came out of it was a better understanding by my Mum & Dad that what happened to me was horrid.

I would also suggest that you at least tell your husband, I think you need all the support you can get right now and he'd have to be on your side and I think he also has a right to know, as it can go a long way to explaining your depression.

Sexual abuse is perpetuated by silence... so speak out loud Nouse and look after yourself.

Luv fly xxx

Written by fly, 6. May 2008 06:32 PM

Nouse

You have been very strong in holding this in... your psych's idea of a controlled gathering is a good one... and with your family, your husband and the abuser ... he the abuser loses power over you... you gain control over your life again... Nouse this is what is building up for you... freedom from the secret... your abuser will pay... listen to Fly... she has been through this situation... she knows how you feel... I keep my fingers crossed that you will find the strength to face your abuser in a place where you have the power... he can't hurt you in the light... only if you keep your secret in the dark...

anyway enough lecture... I am proud of you... talking about these things in the diaries... let the light in... some secrets are never meant to be kept...

take care nouse...

rgds
cate

Written by cateblack, 7. May 2008 01:48 AM