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Comments from the community:

Nouse

You knew this would be hard to do and you are doing well to be on day 12.

Be proud of yourself for getting this far and go to the AA site for some support and help - think you need it at the moment as you sound so down. Take their support as it is support and help and wisdom.

Be strong.

Go Nouse!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 29. Apr 2008 08:04 PM

You will miss certain things about your drinking. But you won't miss hangovers and you won't miss dramas and you won't miss being suicidal and out of control, especially in front of your children. Look in the mirror, you would be looking great by now..keep going.
I also assume you are doing ok in your new job..keep going.
Look honestly at how much better you are doing on a daily basis. You won't feel better just yet because you do have depression...you have to give this time..and you are not feeling great but you are one hell of a lot better than you were. An alcoholic suicidal mess in a Psych unit and now you are employed, responsible and straight!
Please give yourself credit.
Don't run and hide in a bottle, stand up straight, this is your chance to regain your self respect. And once regained, you won't let it go...takes 21 days till you feel some comfort in being sober....
All the best Nouse.

Written by maple, 29. Apr 2008 08:48 PM

Nouse

Thanks for your diary comment.

Please hun, don't give up the stopping of your drinking. Maple is right - you will feel and look better and do better at your job - I bet like Maple has said, you can see these changes already even if they are small, they are important because you are working through the 12 step program and you knew it wasn't going to be an easy task to do.

Be positive and remember a habit takes 21 days to establish so you only a few more days until not drinking can become a habit and that is a life changing habit for you.

Don't give up and keep going and go to the AA support team for help.

Go Nouse!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 29. Apr 2008 10:02 PM

Nouse

What do you want from us? What support do you want? It is hard... if you give up now... there will be no condemnation from me... you can always start again... and then again there is all the hard work you have done so far... each time it is harder to start again... so now you have a choice... talk to your AA mentor... talk to someone... it is a hard choice... but you can make it...

take care

rgds
cate

Written by cateblack, 29. Apr 2008 11:27 PM

Hi Nouse

Thank you for your comments about the meds...

I just wanted to tell you that you are not asking too much ... keep asking... keep talking... please do not think that if you take a drink you have failed... I will care about you whether you drink or not... I just want you to feel like you are not alone emotionally or spiritually... even though you might be alone physically... you have done well ... but in the end it is your decision alone... in that matter yes you are alone and no one can make the decision for you whether they are there physically or not...

be proud of yourself for what you have done so far...

take care..

rgds
cate

Written by cateblack, 30. Apr 2008 10:54 AM

Nouse,
from one addict to another: there is no easy road ahead of you. it sucks but it has to be done. I found that self-esteem and self-respect do eventually return, in an equal ratio to the cravings dissapearing over time.

You'll find that there will be a 'hole' in your life where your drinking used to be, and that you will learn eventually to fill that hole with pastimes and simple pleasures.

If you do slip, then you can try again. All of us slip, almost always more than once (I lost count myself....) and then one day the pain that your addiction is causing you will finally outweigh the value of the 'fix', and you will step off the addiction roundabout for good.

Don't apologise to anyone here... if they have expectations you can't fulfill that's their problem, not yours. Unfortunately you'll have to be selfish about this and protect yourself from any criticism. The very fact you are able to take a step toward sobriety is great, and means you are well on the way to recovery.

I found that you can only get so much support from groups such as AA, and sadly I found no shortage of overly-pious self-rightous types..... lots of "well how I beat it was..." and "what you need to do is....", and all the while you are inwardly screaming.

Frankly it gave me the shits. Unintended (albeit well-intentioned) self-esteem saboteurs.... but I digress.

The only truth I found was that there is no best way, it's radically different for everyone.

Your addiction has been an effective armour against your hurt, and now you are facing the world bare-skinned, and you'll learn how to do that.

It's like learning another language or the piano, it's difficult however people all over the world do it every day... and if you can learn how then you'll get more pleasure from daily life than you've thought possible for years.


Akita (aka Craig)

Written by akita1970, 30. Apr 2008 01:01 PM

Nouse sweety what you are doing is hard andIwishIcould be there to hold your hand.Whether you make it or not this time is for the future. Allyou can do is take each day and not give up.You are a special person with so much to giveI know only to well the thoughts of just giving up not wanting to go on.But because of you and many others here at Dnet I am still here.We can fight our demons together ok you will say our situations are different maybe they are but to be so low and wishing not to be here are feelings I know so well.Sleep well tonight tomorrow is a new day. My prayers are for you TC garannie

Written by Deleted_User, 30. Apr 2008 11:48 PM