Detox Day 5
A page in the diary "I hate myself"
Written by Nouse 22. Apr 2008 07:47 PM
Hey all,
Well i'm still going through this living hell and it doesn't seem to be getting too much easier yet, although on the up side i don't have my head down the toilet anymore so that always a plus.
I haven't got to the stage where i start feeling like drinking again yet, i still feel so sick and i hurt all over. My hands are shaking more than ever which makes for a very long session typing a diary entry. I know that day will come, i have been told by so many people to be prepared but i'm not sure how to prepare myself for that yet. One day at a time is what i keep getting told, but that is the best i can do anyway, so at least i am doing something right for a change.
Don't feel like i have done too much right in my life for a very long time, but joining this AA site and admitting my alcoholism is a good start. I only hope i don't let myself or others down, i am very very scared of doing that. Maybe if i keep that thought in my mind at all times, it will help me through some of the bad times ( and 32 hrs with the head down the toilet will help those thoughts as well i think!! ).
Anyway, wont bore you all with my woes any more for today, but i was told to write down how i feel so i can go back on it when i start feeling better and the urges start.
Take care all.
Luv Nouse