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I am back !!!

A page in the diary "I hate myself"
Written by Nouse 3. Apr 2008 09:30 PM

Hi all,

Well, I made it to my psych appointment today, full of fear and anticipation, which in the end was fully understandable. My Doc was very good with me today and listened to what my fears were and we slowly worked through some of them. He told me that everything i was frightened of was ok for someone who had been through what i had and not to worry about what other people thought about me. This is a huge fear of mine and has undermined me throughout my entire life, and to this day it still does. This is something i have to work on if i am going to survive in this life, which is not an easy thing to deal with.

I am so sorry for what i have put you people through in the last few weeks, i have been in awful place in my life. I can't promise anything, but am prepared to try to get myself out of this deep dark hole that i have been in. My meds seem to be kicking in again at last, despite the constant diahoria and night sweats, but i suppose they are a small price to pay for my life.

I feel this is the most positive entry i have put in my diary, and am not sure i can follow through with my on expectations yet, however small they are.

Take care all, remember no promises.

Luv Nouse

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Comments from the community:

Good for you that you're taking the small steps. Persist with the psych and the meds.

Written by kanye, 3. Apr 2008 10:24 PM

Hi Nouse,
Please remember that we are all here for you. Don't expect to much of yourself too quickly; just take baby steps. You have already taken a big step by seeing your sike and looking at some of the fears that you need to work through. Nothing will fix its self over night. It's hard work, but it's worth the effort in the long run. I am starting to realise that myself now, but I hit rock bottom first.

Hang in there and keep in touch with us.

Written by survivor, 3. Apr 2008 10:30 PM

Nouse

Glad the psych appointment went so well today and you have come away so positively. Glad you have been honest about where you have been over the last few weeks - we all go through good times and bad times. Hopefully things are now on the up for you since this appointment.

Go Nouse!!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 4. Apr 2008 12:35 AM

Nouse

It is good to see you feeling a little more confident... you are fine... the past is past and no one has a problem with you... no expectations of you... you work at your own pace... glad you had a good session with the psychiatrist... and now it is baby steps and take care

rgds
cate

Written by cateblack, 4. Apr 2008 01:59 AM

I am glad the psych helped a little bit.

Hope you had a good day today.

Thinking of you.

WD

Written by WhiteDove, 4. Apr 2008 06:11 PM

Hey hun,

I have a bit of energy in me. So i thought i'll leave another comment.

love, just remember that it will pass. i am glad you have ur psych you can turn to when things are not right. its very important.

and you know, i am here as well.

and hun, you didnt make me feel worse. i am glad i could just sit and listen.

take care love

wd

Written by WhiteDove, 4. Apr 2008 08:53 PM

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