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Back to the Psych !!!

A page in the diary "I hate myself"
Written by Nouse 2. Apr 2008 05:42 PM

Hi all,

Well, here we go again, back on that damn merry-go-round again. This is my first appointment with my Psych since i have been out of hospital, so i am more than a little apprehensive. I get so angry at myself when i have given in and gone to hospital just to please him and get him off my back for just a little while. Why haven't i got more control over my life, what happened to that far distant person that i used to be???

Deep down, i am not sure that person exists anymore, she is just a figment of my imagination, never to be seen again. I know that i am supposed to take baby steps and take one day at a time, but you know what, i don't think i want to anymore, i am sick of this life and don't want to live in it. You think i'm giving up??? Damn right i am.
I am sick of the shit in my life and sick of the people in my life making my life shit. I have had enough.

I am sorry Les, Cate, Dove and everyone else who have tried their hardest to help but to no avail, i have failed you, my family and most of all myself.

Stay well all, cause feeling like this sucks big time!

Luv Nouse

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Comments from the community:

I am so worried for you. Can't even say go to Hospital, see your Psych as you have done it already.
I can feel your despair...the only thing I can think to do if you don't want to refer back to your health Profesionals and I suggest that you do...
Is, try doing something tomorrow which your old self would have done, no matter how you feel, just do it. A small thing...
But I would be happier if you pursued your professional help a little more...it takes time Nouse.
Be okay, we are here if you need to vent. And remember, no matter how much help, you just still will have bad days, they do pass..

Written by Deleted_User, 2. Apr 2008 06:53 PM

Sweety,

I cried when i read your entry. hun, i wish i could say or do something that can lift your mood. i would say baking but you have already tried that.

hun, all i want to say is that it will pass. try to hang in there as much as you can. its hard. nouse hun, you mean alot to me. please hang in there.

love you lots
wd

Written by WhiteDove, 2. Apr 2008 09:48 PM

Nouse

I am hoping that you had a good session with the psychiatrist but it seems that didn't happen as you would want it to happen.

Hospital is always a last resort and done because you are not safe for yourself/others around you. It is hard to get used to being home after being in the secure environment of hospital.

You are not failing anyone. You just need to remember it is baby steps to get through the feeling you have and hopefully the psychiatrist will help you.

Go Nouse!!!

Mrs Studying1

Written by studying1, 2. Apr 2008 11:55 PM

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